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-i A dear old lady Ijad been presented
'with a parrot from the Congo, .and
;She was showing it tb her old gar
dener. r "You know, Joseph, that this par-
H rot comes from the Congo and Congo
parrots are so intelligent that they
are almost human. This bird whis-
jj ties 'Home, SweetHome' so beauti-
iuuy max me tears run .aov.n lis
0 "Yes, mum-, quoth Joseph, "I
vknow them parrots from the Congo.
1 used ter have one, 'apd it whistled
'The Village Blacksmith' so bewtiful
that sparks used ter fly 'from its tail." .
V'That will do, Joseph; you may
J o o
Neighbor (rushing, in)-Quick,
man! Your house-is onjfire but you
may be able to save it yet! Suburban
Resident Let tie? burn! it'll be the
rat time this house has been warm
since I've lived in it.
h ' ' HERE, TAKE
SETTMNC, A. DISPUTE
N "I must insist, sir," exclaimed the
pompous person, "that the device is
"And I am equally, confident that it
is a water-plug," .retorted the mild
"Now, my dear sir," puffed the
pompous person, "this device was put
here primarily as a plug on which to
attach a hose in case of fire in the
vicinity. Therefore it is absolutely
impossible that it can be anyttiing
but a fire-plug."
"You are entirely wrong," declared
the other. "This plug was placed here
to supply water. Consequently it is a
water-plug. If it supplied fire why,
then, of course, it would be a fire
plug." , The pompous person stopped a
"Sir," he began, "I desire to appeal
to your intelligence. This gentleman
has become involve in an argument
with me. He insists that this device
is a water-plug, while I, with equal
confidence, claim that it Is a flre-r
jplug. Will you kindly settle the ques
tion for us?"
"Certainly," replied the pedestrian.
"You say this Is a fire-plug, and your
friend declares, it is a vw&ter-plug.
just let me investigate."
He looked carefully at the plug and
rapped it gently with his cane.
"I greatly fear you are both
wrong," he finally remarked, "This
appears to be an iron plug."
HE NEVER DID
Miss Sentimental Charles, did
you ever allow your mind to pierce
the secret of the universe, to reason
that this dull, cold earth is but the
sepulchre of agfes past, that man'in
all his glory is but the soil we tread,
which every breeze wafts in an ever
shifting maze, to.be found and .lost
in an infinity of particles the dust
of centuries, reunited and dissolved
as long as time shall endure?
Charles No-o, I dunno as I did.
You see, I've had to earn my livingi