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Newspaper Page Text
A UNSATISFACTORY EVIDENCE The witness was a young German 'mmigrailt, whose evidence was re- 'quired in an accident case. "Now, Britzmann " said .the exam ining counsel, "what do you do?" I 5- "Ah vos brettv veil." replied then. 'fxwitness. I v 'T am nnt inrmirincr hq in vnur health. I want to know what you , Oil wuitv; 5 "Where do you work?" continued -rVia onuncal ' "What kind of factory?" rr "It vos a pretty big vactory." t "Your honor, said the lawyer, Burning to the Judge, "if this goes on ;t3ve 11 need an interpreter. Then he tTlurnedto the witness again. "Now, Britzmann, what jdb you "PTTDnake in the factory?" he aBked. f E "You want to know vot I ma "cder vactory?" t "Exactly! Tell us what you make." "$10 a week." make in DIFFICULT ORDER This letter was written, by a moderately sensible man, about to begin a garden at his suburbanhome, to a tradesman who sells. seeds: Dear Sir: Having one-quarter acre of ground, which is not used for anything but growing stones, I wish to make it into an attractive and profitable garden. Please send me the following "One dozen strawberry seeds. "One dozen plum seeds. "Ten square yards of grass. "One bee with hive coniplete. "One concrete path, winding. "Six wall-flowers with six pieces wall. "One safety lawn-mower with patent apparatus for, converting into a safety razor. "Also please send me enough baskets to hold the strawberry and plum crops and side and back combs for the honey. The grass should be green and not the withered kind I note in so many gardens. The seeds should be of some flavor that chickens do not like. Your kind at tention!. wilL oblige, yours trulyt "John Smith." SENSIBLE ADVICE "Why, Henry," she exclaimed, "what is the matter with.. you?' You seem excitecl." It was a minute before he could control his voice sufficiently to speak. "I am," he snorted. "I have been insulted. , ' "How? Who did it?'' And .her spirit rose. "By1 a scoundrel .who came into my office this morning. I have -nursed, my wrath all day, and now I have come.to-you for advice. What would you do if a man were to tell you to go to Jericho and stop there?". Ashe strode about the room he .kicked over the tabie and a , couple of chairs.'. ' "Why, dear," she. replied; after the imnulsive mariner of women and with 4 IS1. 1 r'.-, .v-Jr