ONE ON TJHE TOURIST
"I s'pose if I should try to ride that machine I'
break my neck?" said a gawky-looking fellow, as he
looked at the bicycle against the lamp-post.
"No, you wouldn't," replied the bicyclist, winking
at the bystanders. "It's the easiest thing in the world
to do. Anybody can ride one of these machines if he
only thinks so."
"I want to know," exclaimed the gawky young
youth. "D'ye think I could stay on it if I got on?"
"I know you could."
"An' mak' 'er go?"
"You're trying to fool me."
"Don't you want to try it?"
And jthe tourist in knickerbockers winked slyly
once more at the interested spectators.
"How do you keep from fallin' off the thing?''
"All you've got to do is to climb oii, start it going,
and keep, going. Just try it Here, get on."
. The gawky young man took hold of the bicycle
awkwardly"; and trundled it out to the middle of the
"It isn't quite as good a one as I've got at home."
he said, as he mounted it and started down the road r :
a rattling pace, "but I can follow directions. I c
start it and keep it going. It's only four miles to ti .
next town. IH be waiting for you at the pump. Good
bye." ' J
And the smart young tourist in his knickerbockers
trudged after him on foot
That Make Even Policemen Smile.
"A man who has kept a public-house does not get
drunk on four glasses," said a" solicitor at Kingston.
Magistrate What time was the light, burning?
Defendant A quarter of an hour before it went
Magistrate That is pretty obvious, isn't it?
A po!ice-se.rgeant, giving evidence in a case of
assault, stated that a woman concerned in 'the case
told him she received a bruise on the head kvthe melee.
"Is that the word she used?" asked Mr.PIowden.
;No," replied the police-sergeant; "that is my
- Mr. Plowden--"You are too polished, a scholar for
the police 'court. Give it the plain English."
"She said it was done in the row," said the police
sergeant. "Ah!" exclaimed Mr. Plowden. "I like that muck
.better. There is a home .flavorabout that", .L -i
xml | txt