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SHE WANTED COMFORT
An old country woman, compelled
1 alt In a, suffocating smoking com-
a T , , , -j ,
.liaruueut m. u. crowuea excursion
i4rain, gaied Open-mouthed through
the window at a lady on the platform
who was giving the porter exhaustive
instructions regarding the storage of
-rjlL "See that you find the be" place
r Aj aft the car, .porter, and fix it very se-
a&rf 'rmyoitr anil Hnti'f lof amnno nlow
"l uvsu i anjKjLm ,cjr
'with theTiell, and close the windows
$o that nobody can steal it, and cover
tap the handlebars, and make sure the
train doesn't shake it as it goes over
tVio nnini-n "
I'll- The norter nromised slavish
obedience, pocketed his tip and turn
ed to go away.
"One moment, young fellow," cried
the old woman, leaning out of the
cwindow and catching his arm, "I
want to get out of here. It ain't half
psy enough. Here's 50 cents; now
snow me the way to the bicycle car."
MORE THAN HE EXPECTED
Husband and wife had a little tift.
He buried his nose in a morning pa
per, while she -gazed out of the win
dowwith persistent intentness. Thus
an hour and thirty minutes passed.
A lady passed by. Husband dropped
his paper and looked at her admir
ingly. "Ah!" he said, "that's a fine
woman. And a widow, tod? Don't
you think she's handsome?"
"Yes, rather. You seem to like
"Indeed I do. They're charming."
Husband evidently thought this
woUld pique his partner. But it
"Alfred," said she, tenderly, plac
ing her hand softly on his arm. "Al
fred, I was in the wrong a little while
ago, when I became angry with, you,
and I'm sorry, so sorry. "Will you fort
give your little wifey?"
"Certainly. Don't say another word
"And will you grant a little request
I have to make of you, hubby, dear?"
"Of course. Anything that lies in
"You Bay you think widows are
"Yes, I did say so, but "
"Then make me one; that's a good
husband. Oh, I shall be so happy."
MAN OR PIANO? -
The daughter of the house had just
returned" from a visit to her cousins,
during which she had become engag
ed to a rising young man whom she
had met at the home of her rela
tives. To her mother she was ex
tolling the virtues of her intended.
"Oh, mother," she exclaimed, "he's
jUst grand! So square, upright So
highly polished. Why even in his
notes there is such a sympathetic
tone that sometimes I wonder if I am
not reading the music of the gods!"
"Mercy's sake, child!" interrupted
mother, "are you talking about
young manDr a piano x.
HOW ,fllH UN25R f