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Newspaper Page Text
MIGHT HAVE BEEN OTHERWISE
- Poor and Bad, a tired-looking in
dividual entered the shantv -where
njle workmen were eating their din-
rners. He was carrying a red tin can.
Hey, comrades," he sighed, wear
ily holding out a hand by way of
salutation. "Look at this tin at dow-
$er I picked up this morning. I've a
M nind to blow myself up with it, and
M )So end my troubles here and now."
"Cut that sort of talk and clear
mut," ordered the foreman.
But the man addressed paid no at
tention. He cast one comprehensive
jjlance around the shanty, then
and thrust the can inside.
A shriek of wild dismay followed
'this action, and a moment later the
place was empty.
Ten minutes after, when the run-
aways returned, they found the can
reposing peacefully on the fire. The
tired-looking individual had gone. So
Uhad their dinners and other of their
gj .' CILT it) MM
SURPRISED THE PATIENT
A doctor had two patients. One
had lumbago and the other had some
trouble with his ear. They had ap
pointments about the same time, and
the doctor looked into the waiting"
room and called for Mr. Blank. Mr.
Blank came in.
"Take off your coat and waist
coat," said the doctor.
You neyer know what a doctor is
after, and you generally do as he
bids you. Sometimes doctors don't
know what they are after them
selves, but a patient never questions
them. If you go to anyvOther kind
of man you generally speak out II
you don't know what he wants to do
but you don't do that with a doctor.
The patient took off his coat and
waistcoat. The doctor began thump
lug mm on the back.
"Do you feel -that?"
'Tes, doctor, yes."
"Is it very sore?"
"No, not very 'sore, but sore
"Can you stand that?" said the
doctor, giving him a terrific thump.
"Well, I can stand it, -but dont
"WelL well, you're not so very
"I.will be when you finish your
"That's all right. You are riot bad
enough to worry about That'll do.
You had better put on your coat and
The man put on his clothes. The
doctor was about to shake hands
with him, when the patient said:
"Now, doctor, I'd like to know
what you're going to do about my
"Which ear? What ear?" said the
doctor. "Your ear? Then it's the fel
low outside has lumbago!"
o o ,
"I asked your husband last night if
he had to live his life over again, if he
would marry you, and he said
he certainly would." "He certainly