Newspaper Page Text
A man, driven home on a-very wet
night, wished to give the cab-driver
something to keep the cold out. Find
ing nothing at hand but a liquor
stand with its tiny glasses, he filled
up one and handed it to Jehu, re
marking: "You'll think none the
worse of this because it was made by
the holy monks." "Bless the holy
monks!" exclaimed the driver as he
drained the' glass. "It's thimselves
that can make good liquor, but the
man that blew that glass was very
'short of breath!"
"Yes, ma'am," said an "out-o'-
work," "I know I look strong, but
put of my fifty years of life I ve spent
byer sixteen years in bed." "Why,
poor fellow," replied the lady sym
pathetically, handing him a copper,
i'what has been the trouble paraly
sis?" "No, ma'am," he said, "jest a
reglar habit of sleepur eight hours
night, ma'am!" .
WHAT THE EYE DOESNT-SEE-
It had been a ding-dong strugg
all the afternoon, that golf match.
Pirt Jones had led, then Brown, then
Jones, then Brown again.
But when the seventeenth hole had
been played and Brown found him
self "one down," it seemedmore than
tolerably certain that, despite his
bragging to the contrary, he would
suffer defeat at the hands of his old
friend and rival, Cuthbert Jones es
pecially seeing that his ball perverse
ly rolled down into that deep ravine,
which was a much-feared hazard
guarding the last, andj in this case,
With an angry grumble, Brown de
scended into the crevasse, while
Jones waited triumphantly on top.
After a long, long wait, the ball at
last came bobbing up; and a few
minutes later Brown reappeared, red
in the face, panting, hot.
"Well," inquired Jones, "and hcv
many strokes have you played?"
"Three," replied Brown.
"Three! I'll swear I heard six!"
"Then three of 'em must have been
echoes," said Brown.
And, d'you know, according to his
own calculation, he eventually won
that hole with a stroke to spare, and
so halved the match.
. o o -(
HIS FATHER'S TURN
"John, d'you practice regularly on.
the piano when I'm away at the of
fice?" "Yes, father."
"And for how long did you practice
"Three hours today, father, and
two and a half hours yesterday."
"Good! I'm very glad to hear that
"Next time you practice, be sure
and unlock the piano. Fll give you
the key. It's been in my pocket for
the past fortnight Now bend ovrJ"