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LESSER OF TWO EVILS
"Guilty or not guilty?" asked the
The prisoner a small, perky man
gazed dubiously round the court.
The character of his lawyer he doubt
ed, the jury looked a thick-headed
'(lot; the judge as bad-tempered as a
(bear, and the opposing counsel an
-"M'lord," said the prisoner, "may
I ask some questions before I answer
"You may," tersely answered the
. - "If I Dlead 'Not euilty,' will I have
Via sit here and listen while they ask
me all manner o' questions?"
Do I have to hear all them hand-
iwritin' experts for and against?"
"Must I listen to the insanity dec
ors doing all their talkin'?"
Guilty, then, m'lord!"
I fcf, MIND DOT so NUCH--)
Mi 0NLV HE MA0E A
: A FUP REMARK
XlWtf V.VEN HE HH J
TOO MUCH OF- A GOOD THING
Young Giles, eager to join the po
lice force, journeyed to "town" in
order to pass the necessary medical
examination. This he survived satis
factory and on the following day the
proud young recruit was interviewed
by a high official.
"Well, my man," remarked the lat--ter,
looking earnestly at the newly
made officer, "you look a promis
ing sort of fellow. What sort of edu
cation have you had?"
"Oh, sir," replied the recruit, "I
was educated at a country school!"
"Ah! And you've a good general
knowledge, I hope?"
"Oh, yes, sir!"
"I wonder. Can you tell me, for
example, how many miles it is from
Chicago to New York?"
At' this the recruit became some
what agitated, and, gazing nervously
at his chief, remarked:
"Look here, sir, if you're going to
put me on that beat, I've finished with
Mark Twain's story of Horace
Greeley's handwriting has a parallel
in this, from a railway conductor in
Missouri to the president of the road.
The conductor wrote:
"A farmer has been riding on fftia
pass for about a year. Do you want
him to continue to use it?"
The president put on his glasses,
looked the paper over carefully, and
"Why, this is not a pass. It is a re
ceipt I gave the fellow for a load of
wood about a year ago!"
"Clara, I love but thee alone." Thus
sighed the tender youth. "Oh, hear
me., then, my passion own. With
trembling lips and earnest tone I
swear I speak the truth." He paused
a blush o'erspread her cheek. She
let him draw her near. Scarce .for
emotion could she speak, Yet she
did ask, In accents meek, "How much
have, you a year?"