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Newspaper Page Text
Teacher Why, Jimmy, Jimmy!
Have you forgotten your pencils
again? What "would you think of a
soldier going to war without a gun?
Jimmy I should think he was an
A birthday gift was given to a wife
by her husband and three children.
The youngest, a little ten-year-old,
was appointed to make the speech of
presentation. She did it after much
preparation for the occasion, and this
was the form it took: "Dear mamma,
this gift is presented to you by your
three children and your one husband."
Whenever he addressed his wife
He always shouted, "Hey!"
He married a grass widow, which
Accounts for it, folks say.
Besides, he was a sort of rake
Before his wedding day.
A school-teacher received the fol
lowing letter rom the father of one
of her pupils: "Dear Teacher
Please excuse Fritz from staying
home. He has the measles to oblige
his father!" '
A purchaser of a riverside prop
erty asked the estate agent if the
nyer did not sometimes overflow its
banks. "Well," replied he, "it isn't
one of those feeble streams that are
always confined. q their beds!"
MARY! ' I
MARTS UTTLE LAMB
TWAS EASY J
Gibbs I went on a railway journey
the other day and took a box of
cigars with me.
Nibbs Well, I suppose you had a
Gibbs Aye., I had that; but when
the train started I found I had nor
Nibbs No matches, and yet you
enjoyed a good smoke? How did you
manage for a light?
Gibbs Well, you see, I opened the
box, took out one, and that made the
box a7cigar lighter.
I'D LIKE, TO.BUT