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Newspaper Page Text
HERE VoU ABE, YOUNcT MEN!
SOME FREE ADVICE
Denver, May 23. Henry M. Teller,
ex-U. S. senator, "the grand old man
of Colorado," who is celebrating Ms
eighty-third birthday today, gives the
following advice to young men:
"Don't drink. Whisky is the curse
of the nation. Don't smoke. It is
costly to health and pocketbook.
"Marry early, if you can, but late if
not early. Bachelors are an abom
ination. They are of no real value to
At the time of his retirement in
1909 Teller had been in public life
more than 40 years.
WILSON'S LINCOLN STORY
Washington, D. C, May 24. After,
President Wilson had made it perf ect--ly
clear, by a flat-footed, first per
son, pubhshed statement, that he
would accept no compromise on the
tariff bill, a visitor at his offices asked
him if he would accept a compromise
on the wool schedule. The president
smiled good naturedly and said:
"President Lincoln used to tell a
. story of a httle girl who went to sleep
at night while playing with her alpha
bet blocks. She roused up and re
called that she had forgotten to Bay
her prayers. In a sleepy voice she
said: "Oh, Lord, there are the blocks.
f Spell it out for Yourself."
AS PER AGREEMENT
The woman gave two tramps' a meal.
Great Scott! Sow they did eat it!
Thercwas a carpet on the line
They promised her they'd beat it.
So, when there was no m6re to eat
They quickly beat it dojjn the
TAYLOR WOULD LIKE FRAUD
PROBE ENDED NOTH1N' DOIN'
Dr. Howard S. Taylor, Hearst
Harrison member of the Board of
Election Commissioners, yesterday
asked Ctiunty Judge Owens, also
Hearst-Harrisonite, to end the probe J
into alleged election frauds now be
ing made by the commissioners.
Judge Owens refused to end the
investigation now after all Commis
sioner Czarnecki had brought out.
Czarnecki is the only one of the
board who has made an effort to
bring out any evidence of fraud. 'He
has prepared a list of the precincts -wherein
more votes were cast than
the poll books showed were voted on
Taylor Beems to have undertaken
the role of counsel for the defense
during the present investigation. He
has bent .all his -energy to bringing
out answers from witnesses that
would show there had been no fraud.
Commissioner Kellerman and At
torney Mitchell of the board are also
opposed to -continuing the investigation.
If it's ail the same to you, Mr.
Weather Man, please put the cover
oh the rain bucket and make the Sab
bath a real "Sun-Day."
The motorcycle is probably the
most dangerous of our wild beasts.
Even in 'inaction they are perilous.
One fell over on a child at Fremont,
0., and choked it to death.
New York man who calls his wife ft
"The Marble Bride," because of her
coldness, would like her to be a statue
of liberty. He's suing for annulment
of their marriage.
The secretary of treasury has de
cided to call in the new nickels. Gee
whiz! We hope he don't find the one
The next time two countries clash
in war it would be a nasty trick not
to tip the moving picture men oft In
"time. ,---'- ' fx
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