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Al ( OH AMEUA'.
With a tired expression, the hard
worked doctor answered his surgery
bell one evening. It was only Mike
with a big story as to how his baby
would not sleep a wink, and would
the medico give him something for
Relieved to think it was no bigger
matter, the doctor despatched Mike
wth some sleeping powders lor the
Next day, meeting the Irishman in
the street, he asked him how the
"Them nnwrlATR iHri th trio.lr foJno
doc," said Mike,
$ "That's good! Made the baby
Fsleep all rigbt-eh?"
"Faith, no!" ho rpjtnnnnnil. "Wa
gave the darlint a dose, but she
.wouldn't sleep at all, at all: so we
just took them powders oursels, we
dldr and went right off to sleep, and
niyer heard the swate babe cry one
bit ajiy morjj," . . ,
ALWAYS MERRY AND BRIGHT
False to all the traditions of Scot
land and of farming, Sandy McTavish
was a supreme optimist.
Nothing ever seemed to worry him.
One day so the story goes dur
ing the great floods, he was found by
a neighbor lucky enough to possess
a boat sitting peacefully on the roof
of his hquse, smoking a pipe while
the waters rose.
"Hallo, Sandy!" cried the neighbor.
"Hallo, Sam!" cried 'the cheerful
"All your fowls washed away, I
''Ay," he said; "but the ducks can
"Apple-trees gone, too eh?"
"Well, the crop would have failed,
"So will you," said Sam, "if you sit
up there much longer. Why, the
water's covered your ground-floor
"I know," replied Sandy, as he
smoked on; "and a good thing, too.
Them windows did want washin'!"
PRESENCE OF MIND
The new building was in course of
erection, and Dennis and Sandy were
working together on the roof. Sud
denly the dinner whistle blew shrilly.
"Oh, hang!" said Sandy. "Ma wee
b'ittie is do'on the basement. I maun
wear my boots oot trottin' a' doon,
"Sure, hang on this rope, matey,"
responded Dennis, "an PJ1 let ye
down to the ground!"
The descent was all right till the
middle tf the building was reached,
when Dennis suddenly let go the
rope, landing the Scotchman in a
mortar bed, not -much hurt, burter
''What for did ye let go the rope?"
"Begorra, I thought it was going
to break," yelled Dennis, "and I had
prisence flMnS ePQ9gfe fi j&j&r