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VESS, I BELIEVE
aOOT GOAT'S MILK ISS
AEFECTriG ME. SOMEHOW
I .ttAF A FIERCE. DESIRE TO
6ET OVER IN DOT VACAWT
P LOT UND NIBBLE
NO QAUSE FOR TEARS
A- wealthy man was motoring
through a remote district in Ireland
when he came upon a poor woman
seated, with all her humble furniture
.about her, in the middle of the road
before her little cabin. He was pro
foundly moved. Here, before hia
very eyes, an eviction, a real Irish
evjction, was taking place. He got
out of his car, and gave the old
woman a five-pound note. "Tell
me," be said, "what is the trouble,
fay poor friend? Bobbing and
curtseying her gratitude, the old
woinan replied, "Sure, sir, me ould
P Q 0
A farmer. was escorting a young
city Jady over his farm, when she
noticed a small herd of calves in a
field. "Oh," she cried playfully,
3'16ok at the little cowlets!" "No,
miss', them's bullets!" replied the
ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
A somewhat eccentric but very pe
culiar spinster lady was taken sud
denly ill with pneumonia, and all the
village in which she lived was in
"I went in to fcee her just a min
ute," said a tearful friend, "and she
scarcely looked at me. I don't think
she really knew I was there. But yet
they say she's a bit better, if she
can only get some strength into her.
The fever's gone, but she lacks in
terest, she's so weak."
A few days later, still tearful, but
joyous, the same friend made a more
"She looked at me where I sat
across the room, and then she beck
oned to me. You take a look at
yourself in the glass,' she said, 'and
tell me if you've got your brooch on
straight. It looks all on one side to
me.' And 'twas!" said the neighbor,
wiping her eyes. "ShectJuTd hardlv
speak above a whisper, but when 1' 1
straightened it she said, "That's ail
right!' and turned over and went to
sleep; She's going to get well!"
AND SO IT GOES
"What a ducky little place!" said
the bride to be, as her sweetheart
showed her over her prospective
home. "But I am afraid, Harold, ev
erything is so small. Now, look at
this little pigeonhole. Surely you
don't call it a shoe cupboard, dear?"
"Darling," sweetly answered the
young man, "that little pigeonhole,
as you call it, will hold a hundred
pairs of shoes of the size you wear."
The pucker in her pretty brows
"Perhaps you're right, Harold,"
she remarked. And all was well.
"This watch will. last a lifetime,"
remarked a jeweler, as he handed a
watch to a customer. "Nonsense!"
retorted the customer, "Can't I see
for myself that its hours are numbered?"