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Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
A sign in front of a Fifth avenue
restaurant read this way:
BOILED BEEF HORSE
Maybe the high cost of living is to
One would-be juror in that Roose
velt libel case said he could Tender
a fair decision "regardless of the
evidence." Everybody laughed but
a whole lot of verdicts are really ren
dered that way, just the same.
TAKING NO CHANCES.
1 CuABP f nHT
"Turn out the guard," the king he
, As he down to the cellar ran,
He'd spied a female on the road
Close to the gates of Buckingham.
"Come forth, your Highness," said
"This woman calls your wash to
"Thanks, trusty -one," the king re-
"I thqught she was a stlffraget"
On a certain Saturday two Irish
men were arranging to attend a
meeting together on the following
day; but each was at a loss to know
how, on arrival, to tell whether the
other had gone in. They thought
about the matter for 'some time, and
then Pat said: "Well, if I get there
first ni put a chalk mark on the wall,
and if you get there first you, rub it
When the sky's tied to the gate post,
And the river's near the shore,
When the trees were once all leafless
But are not so any more.
When the school's out for the sum
mer And our books are out gf sight,
When the tfays are full of weather
And the nights are full of night.
When we've got a place to hang our
And a place to dress as well,
That's when we kids go swimmin',
Tho' the water's cold as h .
WHAT HE SAW
"Come into the garden, Bob," she
"And 111 show you my new hose."
And Bob he went, you bet he did,
With the speed that an auto goes.
Here's where you get fooled as sure
Twas a rubber hose to sprinkle the