Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
The editor of a. mall newspaper
miled gleefully as he noted the fine
turkey that some kind person had
$ent to the office.
5 Various questioning glances were
directed toward the bird' by other
members of the staff during the day,
bhut the pditor ignored them. He
himself appropriated the gift, sent it
"home and had it cooked for dinner.
Next day, however, he read, with
very mixed feelings, the following
letter which was handed to him:
- "Mr. Editor," it ran, "the turkey I
sent yesterday has been the cause of
much dispute. To settle a bet will
ou please state in an early issue the
cause of death? It has been ailing
for mqnths. I know it was some-
ng rather bad( but please specify."
"Are vou a erood baseball player?"
V'No, I'm a prohibitionist." "What's
-ihat got to do with it?" "Well, I
iSon't like a high ball and I never
ouch a drop."
THE POINT THAT COUNTED
They sat at the table In a theatri
cal boarding house a man and a
boy. The former, a writer of stories
and sketches, the latter a moving
The boy, about 12 years old, wore
long curls. The man was having a
merry time kidding him.
" 'Bout time you got "your hair cut
and stopped being mamma's darling,
aint it, Jimmy? he inquired.
"You're a fine big boob to be going
around in thatauutleroy make
up!" And more along the same line.
The boy went on eating his break
fast and said not a word till he was
through. Then, as he got up from
the table, he remarked, "You better
keep your mouth shut. I earn more
money with my hair than you do
with your head."
As this statement happened to bn
the truth, it was greatly enjoyed t r
all those present, except the perse 1
to whom .it was addressed. He haj
not kidded anybody since.
THEIR LAST STRAW
The small touring company had
found business wretchedly bad, and
many discontented murmurs went
"The advance booking in the next
town is good," had been the man
ager's words, and it was only this
hope that held the little companv
together this and thg promise that
all arrears in salaries would be set
tled. At last, in the late hours of one
Sunday evening, the company
reached the city of its hopes.
The manager stepped from the
train and gazed over the railway sta
"What a glorious sunset!" he ex
claimed, hoping thereby to raise the
waning spirits of his company.
"Go on," yelled a passing young
ster, "that's the theater burnia'