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- I r jwtatX f It is not VoRTH
"J ielung bottle besides, actresses
II X IUl- InKfc S V AMVUmil J
A SUPERIOR. OFFICER
Jamie and Mary, next-door neigh-
Mbors, and both aged bx, were playing
."ships." They marched about their
.respective gardens, arrayed in bor
rowed yachting clothes, "I know a
nice play," Jainje suggested. "Iefs
be admirals, and command all the
ships in the navy!" But Mary ex
acted, conditions, "All right, only X
must be the, highest admiral, and give
commands to you," she announced
firmly, and Jamie gave grudging as
sent. Victory thus assured, Mary
softened. "Ill tell you what, Jamie,"
.she said, "let's play I'm the admiral's
wife. That'll do just as well !'
Blink (the wholesaler) Well, how
.many orders did you get yesterday?
Oiing (the salesman; l got two.
torders in one shop.
SjSUlnk What were they?
Gul2 One was to get out and the
Fuflhe? waa t0 Btav out
BY QUNNINC SUBTERFUGE
"People as keeps hens," .observe "
the lady, "should keep 'em at home.
If those there fowls o' yourn come in
this gardin agen, there'll be some
A sniff and toss of the head was
the only retort of the other lady.
"If you was to feed your cat
prop'ly it wouldn't go hunting round
flowers," she presently observed.
"Layin' the blame on my hens!"
A few days later the first lady
smiled sweetly at her neighbor.
"So kind of you," she beamed, "to
give me a hint as to the way of treat
m' our cat. I took your advice, made
it a straw bed in the toql-iouse,
sprinkled a little barley about, and
blest if that cat ain't laid two nice
eggs every morning!"
Next day an extra strong wire
fence surrounded the hens.
THE BONE OF CONTENTION
Here is a story of the kind that ac
tors delight to tell each other; A
certain actor, when playing Qthello,
engaged in a most effective fight with
Iago. The players met, and Othello,
seizing Iago by the throat, began to
choke him. The stage fight was
very realistically presented. After
the performance a friend said to
Qthello, "That was a most effective
fight you put up tpnight in fact,
you seemed to be very much in ear
nest "In earnest? Indeed I was:"
replied Othello. "Why, confound the
fellow, he was trying to push me out
of the limelight!"
One morning at breakfast little
Joey announced that he had had the
misfortune to fall out of bed the
night before. "That was because
you slept too near where you got
in," said Ethel, who liked to reason
about things that happened to Joey. .
"Pooh, that wasn't it," he retorted
with scorn. ' ''It was because I slept
too n$ar where I fell put,"