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Newspaper Page Text
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SAFE FROM LEGAL ACTION
Little Tommy, who had been very
carefully brought up, was sitting
upon Lis father's knee in a crowded
street car when a lady entered.
"Madam," said Tommy, as he got off
his father's knee, "will you accept
OF COURSE, HE KNEW!
lie. lip I
Farmer Wanter see me milk ther
City Boy Au gwan. You needp't
kid me 'cause I'm from the, city. Dey
gets milk out of a red wagon. Don't
yer think I know?
A native gardener in India was set
ting fire to a heap of dead grass when
a soldier looked over the fence, say
ing: "Don't do that, you old fool!"
"Why not?" asked the gardener.
"You will make the place as black as
you are!" replied the soldier face
tiously. "Never mind, sahib, never
mind! Grass will all grow again and
be as green as you are!" replied the
"I wish some one would come along,"
Sighed Weary, on the blink,
"With price enough and heart enough
To prove it that I drink.
He'd have no fear of libel suits,
I am inclined to think."
An Irishman with a very thick
head of hair was one day in the cen
ter of a few Englishmen, who en
deavored to crack jokes at his ex
pense. "Why," exclaimed one of
them, "your head of hair is like a
stack of hay." "Well," returned.
Pat, "that's, what I thought when I
saw so many asses standing
"She had him arrested for kissing
her forcibly, and he was fined $200."
"Yet they are good friends now."
"Yes, he announced in open court
that it was worth the money."
CINCH FOR DAD
"Of labor, there are just two kinds,"
The fourth grade teacher said.
"The mental and the manual,
By which men earn their bread.
Now which kind does your father
She asked of Pat McCann.
"He don't do neither," Pat replied
"My dad's a policeman,"
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