Newspaper Page Text
WHY HE WAS WILD
L An advocate of scientific nianage-
ent told the following tale the other
"Two men stood watching a steam
shovel at work. With a clatter and
a roar the shovel bit into a steep
bank, closed on a few tons of earth,
and dumped them on to a waiting
" 'It drives me wild,' said the first
onlooker, 'to see that monster tak
ing the bread out of good men's
mouths. Look at it. Why, it's filling
.Up those trucks faster than a hun-
red men with picks and shovels
jjiould do it.'
"But the other onlooker shook his
head, and answered:
" 'See here, mister, if it would be
etter to employ a hundred men with
picks and shovels on this job,
; Wouldn't it be better still, by your
, rvctjr ui LJ-unnjug, iu cu-ijjiuj a, uiuu-
sand men with forks and table-
THE TEACHER TAUGHT
It was an arduous task for thi
teacher to drum into her youthful
pupils the principles of arithmetic.
"Now, listen," she said. "In order
to subtract, things have to be in the
same denomination. This is what I
mean: Now, you couldn't take three
appless from four peaches, nor eight
marbles from twelve buttons. It
must be three apples from four ap
ples, and so on.
"Do you understand?"
The majority seemed to grasp the
idea. One perky little youngster in
the rear, however, raised a timid
"Please, teacher," he inquired,
"couldn't you take three quarts of
milk from two cows?"
'TWAS LOST ALL RIGHT
A policeman who was charged
with having lost bis whistle was
asked to explain. He said: ,
"You see, I went home last nigh
andjmt my whistle on the table. I
turned round, and, bless me, one o.
my kids was choking and nearly
black in the face. You see, inspec
tor, he'd swallowed the whistle."
"Is he dead?" asked the sympa
"No, Bir," was the reply. "He
isn't dead, but he's got whooping
cough, and now every time he
coughs the whistle blows, and tho
cop on the beat comes a-running to
see what's the trouble."
A sad looking man went into a
chemist's. "Can you give me," he
asked, "something that will drive
from my mind the thought of sorrow
and bitter recollection?"
Then the chemist nodded, and put
him up a little dose of quinine and
wormwood and rhubard and Epsom
salts and a dash of castor oil, and
gave it to him, and for six months the
man could not think of anything in
the world except new schemes for
getting the taste out of his mouth.
tiir'Vllljur -iT V V" I lili-i-frli-l-fcr , - -ft