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Newspaper Page Text
The Johnsons, according to a re-
dent storv. had an old hen who In.
listed upon neglecting her comfort
able nest to lay a daily egg in the
cbal cellar. I
. "I can't think," fretted Mrs, John-
-son, as she and her small son Joe
together hunted for that particular
n?gg wny tnis one hen insists upon
using the coal bin."
A"Why, that's easy, mother,'" ex
claimed Joe, in astonishment.- "I
s'DOse she's seen the sfen. 'Nnw is
lithe time to lay in your coal.' "
"That house I have rented from
you, said the dissatisfied tenant, "is
rribly draughty, when, I was sit-
g in the middle of the room, mv
iair blew all over my face. Can't
fou do something?" "Don't you
think, sir," replied the house agent,
avely, it wouia De easier and
eaper for you to get your hair
BVOOLLY, DOTS A
TttCT. T HADN'T
THOUGHT OP DOT!
It w V THOUSHT OP DOT!
!j&UTE, DEV HAF A
AN UNCONSCIOUS BIDDER
Holding aloft a flashy timepiece
the auctioneer exclaimed, grandilo
quently: "We have here a gold-filled, Elgin
movement, full jeweled, hand en
graved chronometer, made to sell at
$20. To start the bidding I am go
ing to offer it at the ridiculausly low
figure of $5.
After waiting for the full import of
his words to be grasped by his hear
ers, the auctioneer began, in a mono
tone: "Five can I get the five can I
get the five?"
A small man near the front of the
crowd slightly inclined his head.
"Five can I get the ten? Five
can I get the ten? Five "
Again the little man nodded.
"Ten can I get the fifteen? Ten
can I get the fifteen? Ten-"
To the surprise of everybody, in
cluding tne auctioneer, the same man
"Fifteen can I get the twenty?
Fifteen can I get the twent "
Noticing that the little man ap
peared to be growing restless, and
fearing to take any more chances on
him, the auctioneer suddenly con
cluded: "And sold to the little man in the
When the watch was passed to
him, the man in the brown suit in
dignantly refused it
"I didn't bid for it at all," he said,
"and I am not going to buy it!" v v
"If you didn't intend to buy it,"
cried the auctioneer, "why did you
keep nodding your head?"
"I couldn't help it," the man in the
brown suit replied. "I've got the
"I wonder if it is really as danger
ous to dye the hair as doctors say."
"Certainly, only more so. I had an
uncle who tried it, and he was mar
ried to a widow with six children in '
less than three months."