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Newspaper Page Text
JOKES THAT MAKE YOU LAUGH OFF THEHEAT
Mr. Bird Why did you lay the egg in that ridiculous place?
Mrs. Bird. Why, can't you Bee? It teaches the little fellow to balance
himself before he comes out of the shell. We can't begin too early.,
ONE ON CAPTAIN
A man once received as a present
from a sea captain a fine specimen
of a bird -which sailors call the
."laughing jackass." As he was car
rying it home he met a brawny Irish
"navvy, who stopped and said to him:
"Phwat kind of burrd is that,
"That's a laughing jackass," ex
plained the owner, genially.
- The Irishman, thinking he was be
ing made fun of, was equal to the
occasion, and responded with a twin
kle of the eye:
"It's not yerself it's the burrd I
HE WAS WISE
r A farmer tpok out a policy of fire
insurance on his barn. After a. loss
'and due proofs, the company 'came
;to settle or adjust the loss, but took
advantage of its option under the
"contract to build a new barn.
Subsequently a life insurance com
pany sought to have him insure his
life in favor of his wife.
"Oh, no," he said, "you don't
catch me a second time. If I'd die,
you would come around here and
offer to get a new husband for her."
A school-teacher who was giving
a lesson on "food" was interrupted ,
by one of his pupils.
"Please, sir," he said, "Jimmy says
he knew a baby that was brought up
on elephant's milk, and it gained ten
pounds in weight every day."
"James ought not to tell you such
rubbish," said the teacher. "Whose
baby was it that was brought up on
"Please, sir," answered Jimmy, ''it
was the elephant's."
"Who painted Mackay's house?"
"I think it was a firm, called Fits &