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HASTE QUITE UNNECESSARY
The evening was damp and cold
nd foggy and the Rev. Sandy Mac-
gregor, while walking absent-mindedly
along the street, fell heavily in-
3t'o a deep hole which had Just been
T ?made by order of the local sanitary
For a lone while the Rev. Sandy
-struggled to escape. Then despair
ingly he began to Bhout for help.
A passing laborer beard his cries,
and, looking down into the hole, ask
ed who was 4here.
The minister informed him, but in
turn received only meagre com
Weel, weel," said the laborer, "ye
-needna kick up sic' a noise. You'll
no' be needed afore the Sawbath,
ijtnd this is only Wednesday nicht!"
She I dearly love to listen to the
Sticking of a clock. It seems to me
rthat a clock has a language of its
wn. He Well, scarcely a language
a dialect! '
L Jit ii
WHY HE WEARS GLASSES
It happened in the park one Sun
day morning. Todd and Edgeley
were sitting there together, discus
sing, needless to say, the eternal and
"Yes," said Todd, "I quite agree
with you; the way women dress
nowadays is positively absurd."
"It's worse than that," added
Edgeley. "What's more, in nine cases
out of ten, their men folk are to
"I -suppose that is so," he re
marked. "Yes. Look at that women coming
towards us now. Ill bet you any
thing you like that her husband tells
her .she looks positively charming
when she goes out in that outrageous
get-up, just because he hasn't the
pluck to say the truth, to laugh at
But Todd had risen to his feet,
and, hat in hand, a happy smile upon
his face, was awaiting the lady thu .
referred to,. The lady was Edgeley's
, HAD EVERY TIME
Smith was a constant worry to his
friends. They never knew when to
and when not to treat him seriously,
since, as he frankly admitted, he de
lighted in pulling other people's leg's.
One day he and Brown met cac
ually in the street, and stopped, as
friends often do, to gossip for a
"Big blaze that fire at the fac
tory in Johnson street fast night,
wasn't it?" asked Brown.
"Yes," replied Smith, "I went
down to have a look at it And, my
word, there were several mlghtly
narrow escapes there, too!"
''.Escapes!" cried Brown excitedly.
"But the morning paper said that
there was nd one in the building."
"Oh," he said, "the firemen
brought the escapes down with
them! So long, old chap!"
L ir.. .