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Newspaper Page Text
tts- PEOPLE UlWH AT IT BUT You
ONT UflUQH AT IT SECOSS Vol) 7JNK
PfeY ARE LAUGHING AT SOMEDINGS ELSE.
JlETlMES YOU L.OSE IT. VET VOL) VI LL
IP II veil you uit. cr you tifT
l-TWO OF DEM YOU WOULT BE
lumjAPPY, YET IT WOUUT
QyaLE. yoor income.
W VJ" ff VALUA8tE?)
PAT MEANT WELL
An Irishman made his way to a
.county jail and asked to be allowed
to see tne governor, un being usn-
red into that functionary's presence
e begged for the favor of an inter
view with a nrisoner who was to
suffer the extreme penalty of the law
in the .cohrse of the morning.
"No, my man," said the governor,
on being appealed to, "you cannot
see the prisoner. He is to be exe
cuted In half an hour's time and it
is not allowed for visitors to see a
prisoner on the day of execution. But
wnat mignt De your Dusmess witn
" "Shure. sorr," answered Pat, "it's
Chis birthday and I was after wishing
"Klr mnnv tioYiriTT Tfi111TlQ QTT fUck Antr
"His friends all advjsed Jack to go
vn the stage' said an unsuccessful
; "tragedian's fatten "Yes; quite so.
. His friends egged him on, and the au-
4Sdienbe egged. him off!"
SURPRISED THE MANAGER.
"An increase of salary!" exclaim
ed the pompouB manager of a small
omnibus company to a clerk who had
just made that request. "I am afraid,
sir, that you are too extravagant!"
He toyed with his heavy watch
chain and looked severely .at the
young' man, who returned his stare
boldly. It was' the set phrase on such
occasions and the applicant had
heard it all before. He meant to have
his rise or go somewhere else.
"Excuse me, sir," he replied re
spectfully, "I haven't any chance to
be extravagant on what I earn."
"Young man," continued the
pompous gentleman, "I haye risen
from the ranks. How? By being
careful. "When I was young I made
money by saving fares."
"Ah, that was in the old days,"
said the young man, with a knowing
wink. "But with the present sys
tem of inspection, you would find
you couldn't Bave a nickle without
being collared, however careful you
The manager nearly fainted, and
the young man had to look for other
THE REWARDS OF ART
No wonder he felt proud. After
all, he was quite a young artist; and
there it was there could be no
doubt about it his picture, his great
picture, was hanging in the Acad
emy. What's more, two people stood
motionless in front of it, gazing at
the canvas in rapt attention, while
the artist stood afar, gazing at them.
Then, "I say, Charlie," he asked
his friend, "do saunter carelessly by
and find out what they are saying
about my picture. Perhaps they
want to buy it."
Forthwith Charlie set out to do a
careless saunter. Presently to the
expectant artist the wait seemed an
eternity he returned to his friend.
"No business doing' he sighe.dV
"She's only blowing him up for leav
ing, off hs Tenter flaeXiooBOs
t, naam&Sukn i ' ''-"Sftffig'i