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Newspaper Page Text
I FELT IT WOOIT HAPPEN. AFTER A
MAN HA BEEN REPRESSED ALL HISS
LIFE LIKE ADOLF HASS, VN HE BREAKS
rturrr he ooesto kwn quick, nc
UKE A ANVIL-
yV .l.l ' U'tFI)
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DID THE VICAR STOP
It was too much. Every Sunday old
Adams, who blew the organ, would
continue blowing after the music had
stopped, hereby producing most un
Time and again had the organist
taken him to task for it
"Right, mister," had been old
Adams' invariable reply. ""I forgits,
One Sunday the organist could
stand it no longer.
The congregation had been set tit
tering by the old man's forgetf ulness,
and during the sermon the organist
sejzed the opportunity to write him
a note on tne matter, and hand it to
a choir-boy to deliver.
.Misunderstanding the. whispered
directions, the lad handed the note
straight up to the vicar, who as
toundedly read the following:
"Will you stop when I tell you to?
People come here to listen to my
music, not to your horrible noise!" j
IT WOULDN'T WASH
Farmer Tuttle was In London for
the first time, and though his best
celebration of the occasion would be
a good dinner at a smart restaurant.
He manfully struggled all through
"What cheese can ye recommend,
man?" he inquired of the waiter. "I'd
loike something new."
"Will you try a little Roquefort,
sir?" suggested the waiter.
"Hang it! I've ne'er heard of it;
but bring it along. I loike the name,
The cheese particularly tickled his
palate, and he thought his wife might
like to try this "new" cheese. Ar
riving home late, he laid the small
cheese, in its silver paper wrapping,
on the sideboard.
"I can't say as I likes your new
fangled London soap," said his wife
next day, as he came in from the
fields. "It may be mighty stylish, but
I couldn't kinder get any lather; and
when I washed the children wi' it
they grumbled like mad!"
NEXT WJTNESS, PLEASE!
"Witness, will you please answer
my questions a little more plainly?"
queried the lawyer, who was cross
examining an elderly German as to
the position of the door, windows,
etc., in the house where a crime had
"I vill try I vill try," nervously an
swered the old man.
"Will you describe to the court
just how the" stairs run in that
house?" went on the lawyer.
For a few minutes the German
looked puzzled, and bit his nails ner
vously. "How ze stairs run?" he interro
gated a little dazedly.
"Come, come, my good man ! How
the stairs run j if you please!" said the
lawyer, in air exasperated tone.
"Veil," ventured the witness phleg
matically, "ven I am oopstairs zay
run down, and ven I am downstairs
zay run oop!" jpp