Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
An old tradition shattered
Mrs. Newlywed, as her name per
haps implies, had had very little ex
perience of domestic and household
However, by way of compensation
ior this little weakness, she was en
dowed with much sense and still
more determination. She was as
competent, therefore, as the most ex
perienced of housewives to deal with
the vendors in the market-place.
- Qne day she approached a poultry
dealer, and, feeling the breastbone
of a fowl, Inquired:
'Ts this a good chicken?"
"Oh, yes, ma'am!" said the market
man confidently, as was his wont
"Then the old saying is wrong, I
"What saying, if I may inquire?"
asked the seller of eggs and birds.
"The old saying that 'the good die
young!' " retorted Mrs. Newlywed, as
she moved on.
ESPECIALLY THeV o?hIs
BY TUB WAY, ) EmEftGEMCY
' vttlCRE's yooe j hospital.
STUDIES FOR LAZINESS
The subject under discussion wad
laziness. And what more appropriate
subject could be found for a hot June
Potter's idea, however, of the lazi
est man on earth was promptly cap
ped by James.
"Why, I once knew a man," de
clared the latter, "who stayed in bed
for twenty years, simply because it
was too much trouble to get up and
Then Brown, the globe-trotter
"Recently," he said, "while I wad
over in America a couple of tramps,
basking in the sun by thet roadside,
called out to me as I was passing,
and said that they were absolutely
famished done to the world, in fact
" 'Well,' said I, 'there's a farm
house quite near. Why don't you go
there and beg some food?'
" 'That's what we want to do,' ono
of them replied, 'but we'res too tired
to volunteer; so we're going to toss
up a penny to see who must under
take the job.'
" 'Then why delay?'
" 'Ay, mister. We're waiting for an
earthquake to come along and toss
the penny up!' "
A QUICK-SOLVED DIFFICULTY
Poor little Potts strained his head
in vain endeavors to see the stagei
The immobile' back and great her 1
of the man in front of him complete
ly hid his view.
By a most uncomfortable contor
tion he just managed to see some
scenery occasionally by peeping over
the man's shoulder.
Suddenly the big man turned.
"What's the matter, matey; can't
you see anything?" he asked.
"Can't even see a streak of thd
stage through you," murmured little
The big man grinned sarcastically:
"Ah, well, son, just keep your eye
on me and laugh when I do!"
.usaS rJi -i jC a