Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
YMY 3ER BEST HS X KKowJ OF IS
SflMEOIKGS X ReAD IN A HOOSpAPRR.
ii sajp: Kue weu- HtT half a
LEMON J)1PPD IN SALT-"DEN VAH
MIT COUD YflTCK, UNO UW IT IN
DER. SON TO XRY UNTIL Dot
ALAS, THAT POOR EGG!
"Walter!" Prom the table by the
window the voice of an elderly gen
tleman rose ' in accents wrathful.
"Yes, sir," replied the much
harrassed one, hastening forward.
The elderly eentleman. overcome
by his emotions, made several vain
enorts to articulate utterances. Then:
"xaKe tms egg away!" he roar
ed. "Take it away!"
"Yes, sir," said the -waiter oblig
ingly, as he glanced wistfully at the
offending article. "And and what
shall I do with it, sir?'
"Do with it?" The outraged cus
tomer rose menacingly from his
chair. "Do "with it?" he bellowed
fiercely., "Why, wring its neck!"
Of Manhattan Island's 120,000
buildings 1,156 are of 10 stories or
over and 117 of more more than 16.
fthe Woolworth building having 55
MUST HAVE A GRUMBLE
"I have a complaint to make."
It was a guest at the seaside hotel
"What is it?" asked the polite
"My room," said the angry guest,
"is comfortable and the bed is soft"
"But, my dear sir "
"The bathing is actually good and
the newspapers reach here in three
"The table is good and the 'waiters
do not expect to be tipped."
"But, sir, I don't see "
"In fact, the place Is delightful,
and your bill last week didn't bear a
single thing that I had not had. I
can't stand it!"
"But what do you mean? I have
purposely arranged everything for
the comfort of my guests and
thought I had done all in my power."
"That's the whole difficulty. Ev
erything's so good that I can't believe
it's true and I lie awake all night for
something to happen and my dream
to end. I'm fretting ill over it and if
you can't give me something to
grumble about pretty soon I'll have
to pack up and go home!"
WHAT'S SAUCE FOR GOOSE
"Teddie said Mildred, with a con
templative look, "how much money
have we in the bank?"
"We!" replied her husband, in sar
castic mood. "I have about five hun
dred dollars. Why do you inguire?"
For a second there came a 'glint in
the feminine eye; then laconically:
"I just wondered, that's all. I have
a letter today from the lawyer who
wound up poor pa's estate and I find
he had much more to leave than
anyone ever expected."
"That's fine!" exclaimed hubby,
suddenly alert. "How much do we
get from him, Milly?"
"We!" surprisedly. "I get ten.
thousand dollars! Why do you inquire?"