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COULDN'T EAT IT
After being kept waiting for the
rusual five or ten minutes, the new ar
rival at the restaurant was duly
with the first course of the
table d'hote dinner soup.
Hesitating a moment, he glanced at
his plate; then said:
1' "Waiter, 1 can't eat this soup."
"Then I'll bring you another kind,
sir," said the waiter, and hastened
. The guest sighed as the second
plat was placed in front of him
j? "Nor can I eat this soup," he said,
at trifle more emphatically than be
And the waiter, silent, but angry,
brought yet another plate of soup
Whereupon the guest, once more re
marked, in a low, emphatic tone:
"Really, 1 cannot eat this stuff!"
But the waiter, now really angry,
summoned the manaerer. and. to t.h
nterest of the other guests in the res
taurant, explained what had hap
f SAt JUST POT YOUr
t !j HAND UNDER. DISS AHVIL. V
"Really, sir, this , is most unusual,
sir," said he manager. "May I as":
why you can't eat any of our soups?"
"Because," replied the guest, with
a sad, wan smile, "I have no spoon!"
In a small village lived a gentleman
whose name was Peacock, and his
great hobby was the breeding of tur
keys, of which he always kept a large
quantity in a paddock in front of his
house adjoining the roadway, which
was a great attraction to the public.
One day a traveler passing that
way mingled with a little crowd that
was watching their antics, and
"Whose turkeys are these?"
A youth replied: "They're Pea
cock's." Traveler "I asked whose turkeys
Youth (answering again)
They're Peacock's.'.' "
Traveler (excited and boxing tho
youth's ears) "You young fool, dj
you think I can't tell peacocks from
At a certain school, we are told, the
teacher, feeling well disposed toward
her class, during one very hot after
noon, sent one of her pupils to buy a
pound of plums from a fruit vendor
who was shouting his wares outside.
"And be sure, Nellie," she remark
ed, "to pinch one.orwo of the pluL.a
before buying any tb see if they are
Presently Nellie returned to room,
her face wreathed in smiles, and pre
sented the teacher not only with a
large bag of plums, but also with the
For some time she could do noth
ing but burble incoherently. Then,
more or less recovering hjer com
"Instead of pinching only one or
two as you suggested," she laughed,
"I waited till the man wasn't looMnar
and pinched a whole bagful!"