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"BREAD. IAPQN THE WATERS"
"Charles," said the father-in-law,
-looking a trifle anxious, "just a word
with you in the library."
. Locking the door, he looked at his
t-Bon-m-Jaw squarely, and remarked:
,"You have now lived with me for
over two years."
"Yes, father," wonderingly replied
"In little family disputes, we have
always stuck together."
"Your bills I have often paid,
x "Often, father. You have been very
kind to me."
"Then will you grant me the small
favor I am about to ask, my boy?"
"Most certainly, sir."
"I thought so. Then I wish you
"would tell your mother-in-law that
those tickets for the dance and sup
per that she picked up in the sitting
Toom this morning must have ac
cidentally fallen out of your pocket
That'll square all past favors!"
ifl-OHt Vou just Push der.
HtCTEUES N DROOefl HOVL UTTUE. )
' Holes uho der. to ad
NO NEED FOR REFORM.
The social reformer was walking
along thfe sea front, looking out for
those in need of reform.
Suddenly his eye lighted on the
form of a smartly-attired young man,
who was lolling lazily on a seat, gaz
ing seawards, a cigar between his
The sight caused great indignation
to the heart of the self-constituted
mender of ways.
"Young sir," he remarked, laying a
hand on the youth's shoulder, "this
pernicious habit of smoking will be
the ruin of the race. Why you, a
well-set-up young fellow, might
easily have-been a rich man by now,
if only you were a non-smoker the
owner, perhaps, of a large motor car
like that one standing in the street!"
"Do you smoke?" Inquired the
young man addressed.
"I do not," replied the reformer. ,
"Then, of couie, you own a motor
"I see," said the youth, as he threw
away his cigar. Then, lighting a
cigarette: "That car standing there,"
he added, "happens to be mine!""
FROM KITCHEN OR GARDEN
De Smythe had been waltzing with
his host's ugly elder daughter, and
was now in a.-, corner repairing
Here his would-be papa-in-law es
pied him and
"D'you know," he remarked, re
ferring to De Smythe's late partner,
"that girl is the flower of my family,
"So it seems," answered the young
man. "But it's a pity she somes off
so, isn't it?" he added, as he made
another vigorous rub at the white
spots on his coat sleeve.
Tommy Pa, ennui is mdrely being
tired of doing nothing, isn't it?
Tommy's Parent Yes, my son, with
the addition of being too tired to do