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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, July 05, 1913, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
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Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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i "BREAD UPON THE WATERS!
"Charles," said the father-in-law,
-poking a trifle anxious, "just a word
rtn you in tne norary.
Locking the door, he looked at his
bon-in-law squarely, and remarked:
"V iM-r-w i i i
xou nave now uvea witn me ior
oyer two years."
T,h. "Yes, father," wonderingly replied
' "In little family disputes, we have
(always stuck together."
Your bills I have often paid,
uiten.iatner. iou nave oeen very
kind to me."
"Then will you grant me the small
favor I am about to ask, my boy?"
is "Most certainly, sir."
njT "I thought so. Then I wish you
Bppvould tell your mother-in-law that
those tickets for tne dance and sup-
tger that she picked up in the sitting
3j?oom this morning must have ac
Imdentally fallen out of your pocket
That'll square all past favors!"
K Hi You just Posh oer.
yPjrDES IN DROUGH DOS. UTTl-E )
, MO NEED EOR REFORM
The social reformer was walking
along the sea front, looking out for
those in need of reform.
Suddenly his eye lighted on the.
form of a smartly-attired young man,
who was lolling lazily on a seat, gaz
ing seawards, a cigar between his
The sight caused great indignation
to the heart of the self-constituted
mender of ways.
"Young sir," he remarked, laying a
iand on the youth's shoulder, "this
pernicious habit of smoking will be
the ruin of the race. Why you, a
well-set-up young fellow, might
easily have been a rich maft by now,
if only you were a non-smoker the
owner, perhaps, of a large motor car
like that one standing In the street!
"Do you smoke?" Inquired the
young man addressed.
"I do not," replied the reformer.
"Then, of course, you own a jhotor
"I see," said the youth, as he.threw
away his cigar. Then, lighting a
cigarette: "That car standing there,"
he added, "happens to be mine!"
FROM KITCHEN OR GARDEN
De Smythe had been waltzing with
his host's ugly elder daughter, and
was now in a corner repairing
Here his would-be papvin-law es
pied him and
"D you know," he remarked, re
ferring to De Smythe's late, partner,
"that girl is the flower of my family.
"So It seems," answered the young
man. "But it s. a pity sne somes on:
so, isn't it?" he added, as he made
another vigorous rub at the white
.spots on his coat sleeve.
Tommy Pa ennui is merely being
tired of doing nothing, Isn't it?
Tommy's Parent Yes, my son, with
the addition of being too tired to do