Newspaper Page Text
"LIU "PARDON MISTER CUPID REFUSES TO
BE BLAMED FOR DIVORCE COURT DOINGS
The reporter had just got seated in
the jury box where reporters some
times sit, and taken, out a pad to
"write down the names of -the people
who wanted divorces, when a very
angry voice exclaimed:
"You're just the person I have
been wanting to see. I've got a few
things to say to you."
The reporter looked surprised.
"Why, Dan, what's the trouble?"
"Cut out that familiarity. That's
one of my grievances. I don't want
to be referred to as Dan and I
WON'T be referred to as Til." If
your paper hasn't space to write Tit
tle' out in full, just refer to me in
the future as Mr. Cupid. Mister, you
"But, Dan " the reporter began
"I told you to cut that familiarity.
I won't, stand for it You are mak
ing a laughing stock of me. Besides,
there's a few other things I want you
"I haven't a thing, to do with this
divorce court tangle, and I want you
to get that through your ivory dome.
My work is finished when I make two
people love each other the rest is
up to Father Time, and if he can't
keep them in love, it's no business
"Don't talk so loud," the reporter
beseeched, noting that Father Time
Lil' Cupid pardon Mister Cupid,
"You're a woman, so he's got you
scared. Afraid he'd put a couple of
wrinkles on your face if he pointed
his finger at you, aren't you?"
"If he isn't any more successful
with his wrinkles than you are with
your arrows I guess I needn't wor
ry," the reporter retorted.
"I never waste my arrows on
vacuums," and lil' Dan smirked:
"What's the trouble, Miss?" Father
Time asked, kindly.
"Cupid is blaming you for the
failure of marriage. He says you
aren't any good on your end of the
"Is that so?" Father Time laugh
ed so heartily that the clerk of the
court rapped for order.
"He's the funniest little cuss I ever
seen, that rascal. He'll be the death
of me yet. Know what the matter,
the real cause of all this trouble?"
"No," the reporter replied, eager
ly, but if it's a scoop, will you promise
not to let anyone else in on it?"
"That's up to me;' Til' ' Dan testily
interrupted. "And if you print any
thing against me that I don't like, re
member it's a libel suit"
"Ha, ha, ain't he the little joker?"
Father Time asked the reporter.
"You know, Miss, he's got an attic
full of best-seller novels, and a head
so full -of Robert Chambers-love-at-first
sight ideas that he does the
"Why, the other night, as the world
was taking care of itself, and any
way it was so warm an old man needs
a little rest, I followed the little fel
"A gink crossed the street just a
muff, you could see it at the first
glance. His shoes hadn't been shined
since he paid $1.98 for them two
months ago. The fringe on his cuffs
was long enough to plat but bless
me, Cupid saw him lookat a girl, and
bing, zing, whiz, bizz, two arrows
were sent a flying.
"The fellow stopped: 'Whither
way, Miss,' he asked. Only what he
did say was 'Some hot night, eh kid?'
and she responded with similar per
siflage, or whatever you .call it, and
believe me, the next day that couple
was married, and he pawned his
mother's wedding ring to pay for the
license. Can you beat it? And the
little fellow blames it on me."
"Call the next case."
The reporter started violently. Slle