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Newspaper Page Text
had been sent to cover divorce pro
ceedingsand she turned resolutely
away from Mister Cupid and Father
"The testator intended in this will
to make provisions," a lawyer was
arguing before Judge Tuthill.
"What's that?" the reporter gasp
ed. "I thought the judge was going
to have some contested divorce
Cupid chuckled and the reporter
hastened over to the clerk.
"Will this take all morning, and
won't there be any divorces?" ,
The clerk aske'd: "What particu
lar divorce are you interested in?"
"No particular one," replied the re
porter. "Any old divorce would do."
"Guess there won't be any this
The reporter scurried out into the
corridor with Cupid tagging at her
heels. In Judge Gibbons' room a man
was testifying about a fence bound
ary, in Judge Kavanaugh's room
some women sitting around looked
promising, but a lawyer was chal
lenging the jury and that takes all
morning, so there was no hope there.
Judge Honore was trying a civil
suit and in not one single courtroom
was there one single sign of an im
mediate hearing 'of a divorce suit
though the corridors were lined with
ladies waiting to be heard.
"Well, I guess I'll give it up," the
reported murmured dejectedly.
Again Cupid laughed sardonically.
"I guess you won't run a -story on
me today, huh?"
But the reporter winked at Father
A lady of great beauty and at
tractiveness, who was an ardent ad
mirer of Ireland, once crowned her
praise of it at a party by saying: "I
think I was meant for an Irish
woman." "Madam," rejoined a witty
son of Erin, who happened to be
present, "thousands would back me
in saying that you were mean for an
Although having no social aspira
tions, old top, I was one day invited
to a select social function the an
nual ball and cotillion of the Pretzel
Benders' Union. On inquiring wheth
er full evening dress would be au
fait, I received this information:
"Sure, kid, put on your soup-and-fish,
your sun-down fags, your
O-Gussie harness. Every guy what
gets into' the blow-out has to doll up
in a hard-boiled chest protector,
sheet-iron shoes and a two-winged
shroud. This Is a swell affair and any
gink what tries to yegg in the drum
in his time-clock tatters will get the
rude rouse. Truss up in your Tessie
killers, get me?"
Philadelphia is trying to re-establish
her repute for purity by setting
her police on- her poor Jews and Ital
ians for breaking Sabbath blue laws.