OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, July 11, 1913, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1913-07-11/ed-1/seq-17/

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ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSORS
The professor, deep In thought, sal
lied forth for his daily walk. At the
garden, gate the appearance of the
sky made him doubtful as to whether
he should require his umbrella,
"I don't think it's necessary," he
.muttered to himself, returning to the
Lhall and placing the umbrella in the
Stand.
On reaching the front door again,
L&e murmured:
"H'm! It looks rather threaten
ing!" and on second thought regain-
id his umbrella.
For a third time he viewed the sky,
and was doubtful. Four times in all
he returned for his umbrella,
' On his fifth venture, his wife, who
had been watching the performance,
remarked:
"You will want your umbrella."
"Thank .you, dear. I knew there
-was something I had forgotten. I
hvill fetch it."
f "But you have It in your hand."
t Then the door slammed.
iT'S WHAT HE BOUGHT IT fC
Cloud applause)
soon CURED
"I am sorry to learn you are p"
ill that you cannot possibly be in yov
accustomed place tomorrow morn
ing, Miss Hysee," said the minister's
wife, condollngly, "and I have hur
ried over to say that you need not
feel the slightest uneasiness about
the solo you were to sing in the open
ing anthem. Dr. Goodman and the
organist have arranged that Miss
Gonby- shall take the part, and "
"What?"
The popular soprano of the Rev.
Dr. Goodman's church choir at once
sat bolt upright In bed.
"What?" she screamed. "That old
maid with the cracked voice try to
sing my solo? Never!"
With one hand she tore the ban
dages off her head; with the other
she swept the medicine from the lit
tle table to the floor and then she
kicked down the coverlets.
"Tell Dr. Goodman and the organ
ist," she said, in a voice that ran-:
through the house like the silve '
tones of a bell, "to notify Miss Gonfc
that she needn't mangle that solo.
I'll be there!"
"I though that would do it," said
the minister's wife, quietly, to her
self. o o
WAS WAY AHEAD
Doctor From now you may let
your husband have a glass of beer
every day. You understand?
Wife Yes, doctor just one glcss
a day.
Doctor (a week later) Now, I
hope you have kept strictly to that
one glass per day that I allowed your
husband to take?
Wife Most decidedly, doctor
only he is four weeks in advance
with his allowance.
o o .
Mrs. Eastlake You visited Venice
while you were in Europe, I hear.
Mrs. Trotter? Mrs. Trotter Yes,
indeed; and we were rovred about by
ope of the chandeliers for which that
city is noted.

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