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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, July 18, 1913, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1913-07-18/ed-1/seq-17/

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THE LAST STRAW
Walker accompanied his wife en
H-an excursion to the realms of bar-
sains, and in the enormous building,
with Ub manv ripharttttp-ntn. hart ho-
scome separated from his better half.
For an hour at least he remained
lounging impatiently at the. Junction
of many waya, where lifts, stairs, and
Lpassages met, and then, tired and an-
rgry, ae appro&cnea an ureproaiaaDie
floorwalker.
t "Sir," he said, to the fro Jt-coated
Nana suave atxenaant, in tones or
Wbighteous indignation, "I've lost my
wife!"
Back came ths reply, with stun
ning force: "Third floor over the
bridge for the mourning depart
ment!" ' -o o
First Boy Why fere you sad. Bill?
Second Boy Oh, I'm troubled with
dyspepsia. First Boy How can that
be? Second Boy I got licked at
PRETTY EXTENSIVE
John Jones, who is remarkable for
his large ears, has had a falling-out
with Miss Esmeralda Smith, toward
whom he had been suspected of en
tertaining matrimonial intentions.
Somebody asked him the other day
why he and Miss Smith were not driv
ing out as much as usual, to which he
replied that he did not propose to
court any woman who called him a
ddrfkey.
"I can't believe that Miss Smith
would call any gentleman a donkey,"
was the reply.
"Well, she didn't exactly say that
I was a donkey; but she might Just as
well have said so. She hinted that
much."
"What did she say?"
"We were out driving, and it look
ed very threatening, and 1 said it was
going to rain, as I felt a raindrop Oh
my ear. And what do you suppose
She said?"
"I have no idea."
"Well, she said, 'That rain you felt
on your ear may be two or three
miles oftV "
a littuToulVSlarney
"Sure, I've always give the most
ixcellent satisfaction, mum, though t
Was only In my last place t'ffee
Weeks!"
"A Very short time, my good girL
Why did you leave?" asked the dub
ious servanthunter.
"The mlssUB, She were ould and
Cranky. I could .not put up wid her
ways, mum. Begorra, she were a fair
spalpeen!"
The lady could hardly refrain from,
smiling.
"But supposing you find out later
that I am 'ould and cranky,' too?"
she queried.
The ever-ready Irish tongue fal
tered not a minute:
"Cranky ye may be, mumrfor even
the sweetest face is sometimes de
ceivin, but" with a broad smile
"ye're not ould. Bridget O'Brien can
see that with half an eye!" ' . 9

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