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Newspaper Page Text
TTore UNJUST CRITICISM A storm waB brewing in Bill Jones' Jack yard. L "It's too much of "a good thing, -Liz," he yelled. "I've told you be- I won't have the kids bringin' the cqals from-the shed in my best that! Wot would you say, I'd like ter Tknowr' . With armB akimbo, his better-half sauntered into the cabbage patch. V "Look here, Bill," she said coldly, 'stop chinning a minit You've spoilt rthe shape of that there hat already with your funny head; and, as yer fcworK coal all day long at the wharf, J$hajr does that little extra bit of Must In yer hat matter? Yer wants somethhv ter talk about!" " 'Taint really the dust I object to. But I wears that hat of evenings," re sponded the infuriated one, "and, if i,'I takes it off me head when I'm out, It leaves a black band round me fore head. An', of course, I gets accused of washing me face with me hat on!" NOT HER FAULT Of course, the dealer was to blam?. At any rate, that's what the buyer; in common with manyanother buyer of horses, though. The mare in ques tion, he declared, had been sold to him as being sound in- wind and limb without a fault, in fact Without a fault indeed! Why, the poor beast so the outraged buyer now discovered, to his sorrow was blind in one eye and could see with the other only very indistinctly, if at all. Accordingly, he wrote in righteous indignation to the dealer, passing heavy judgment on his business methods and his honesty. Many such letters had the dealer received during his career; but this one was, to him, so quite delightful and ingenuous that he deigned tq answer it. "My dear sir," he wrote, "you seem to blame me for the mare's blindnes". This is most unjust The fault is not mine nor, indeed, is it hers. On til i contrary, blindness' is, and alwayj has been, her great misfortune." o o UTTERLY CRUSHED It was a warm, radiant summer morning;- the birds were singing sweetly, the flowers and dewy grass shimmered in the sparkling sunlight; and there, in the park Robert Peel er a very junior officer was dolus his utmost to make a favorable im pression on the pretty nursema.J. whilst the tatter's small charge busily chased elusive butterflies. "Ah," sighed the dashing Robert, "I wish you were my governess-!" "So do I," replied the girl. " Hope sprang into Robert's heart. "And what would you do with me?" he asked. "Stop you smoking cigarettes, and get your hair cut to say nothing o: punishing you for talking nonsense during school hours!" Then Robert ponderously contia- .ued his beat