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Newspaper Page Text
Mrs. KnoaB this morning that we
keep three servants?"
"Well, don't we, my dear?" he ask
ed. "It seems to me that we always
have one going, one coming, and one
AH, SVIEET BWUJS, How A80OT
( GETTING A NICE GLASS OP
80TTERHIIX R3R A
I. M fill MP
THE BRIGHT SIDE
Mrs. Knoall was greatly puzzled
and not without reason. The fact Is,
she happened to meet Mr. Newlywed
one morning as he was rushing to
reatch his train, and ventured, with
her usual solicitude for other folks
affairs, to hope that Mrs. Newlywed
wasn't having trouble with, his ser
vants. - "Oh, no!" said Mr. Newlywed.
"We've got three!"
Then he dashed off, leaving Mrs.
Knoall gasping. Three servants, in
deed! Why, it was common knowl
edge in Suburbville that the Newly
weds were anything but rich. How
on earth, then, could they afford to
eep three servants? Mrs. Knoall
forced to call on tne bride mat
ernoon to make investigations.
On his return home in the even-
g, Mr. Newlywed was greeted with
"John, what ever made you tell
DIAMOND CUT D"MOND
There he stood, apparently wrap
ped in. thought, directly under the
three golden balls which hung above
the doorway of the shop a seedy,
Presently resolution came to him;
he crossed the threshold and inquired
of the proprietor:
"How much wfll you give me for
A quarter," retorted the pawnbrok
er, eyeing the shabby garment with
"Oh, make it a dollar!" exclaimed
the seedy one. "Hang it all, this
coat's worth three dollars, if ife
worth a penny!"
"My vriend," said the pawnbrokers
"I wouldn't give a dollar for two
"Come, come!" replied the seedy
one persuasively. "Tell me candidly,
would you take a quarter If the coat
"Yes, and think I'd done well!"
"Ah, then, that's all right!" Here's
your quarter. I found the coat out
side and brought it in just to see
how much it was really worth!"
Mamma My dear, what are you
doing? Little Daughter Making a
pen-wiper for my little sister. Mam
maBut you haven't any little sis
ter. Little Daughter No, not yet;
but Sally Stuckup has just got one,
and I know we always get everything
the Stuckups do.
. .Visitor (to facetious faimer) I'd
like to know why on earth you call
that white pig "Ink?" Facetious
Parmer Because he's -always, run
ning from the pea.