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Newspaper Page Text
up the canyon above Manltou. Alti
tude, 6,600 feet-7,500 feet to climb.
It is cool and beautiful, with 'a gush
ing brook and'overshadowing ever
green trees. Observe a trail with bur
10:00 a. m. Those burros showed
poor judgment in picking out their
trail. This seems to be an AWFUL
big mountain. I am heaving like a
horse. I want an ic-cream soda.
Maybe old Zeb Kike was right, after
10:30 a. m. Have discovered a
lemonade stand in this wilderness.
The lemonade is warm. I see men
and women on burros filing along on
the edge of a cliff. Can it be that
they have heard of my attempt and
are trying to Doctor-Cook me?
11:00 a. m. All in! It can't be
done. I will lie here an hour and then
11:30 a. m. Got my second wind.
Excelsior! The mountain air exhil
arates me like rare old wine. Now
I will leap from precipice to precipice.
What are a few thousand perpendic
12:00 m. Hot dizzy head
aches eyes hurt feet sore can't
breathe don't know altitude don't
12:30 p. m. Just met a bunch of
men and women walking down the
mountain side. They say they climb
ed the peak last night I think they're
lying. Observe a Swiss cheese cliff
1,000 feet high.
1:00 p. m. See rocks resembling
muffins and gingerbread and moun
tain range in distance like string of
sausages. Just came upon strange
trail with rails, cogs and railroad ties.
1:30 p. m. Vast dornicks lying
around where the gods left them
when they played duck-on-the-rock
here 1,000,000 years ago. Blisters on
heels. Legs wobbly. Observe much
souvenir postcard scenery.
" 2:00 p. m. I'm heaving again.
Heart, 130 a minute. Lying fiat on
back. Zeb Pike's mountain is revolv
ing. Maybe the peak'll swing around
here if I wait.
2:30 p. m. Just found booklet be
side trail In which some flossie writer
tells of the sublimity and immensity
of Pike's Peak. I'd like to swat that
3:00 p. m. Chill blast blows. Ob
serve hundreds of mountain peaks
cut out of the horizon by Jig saw, and
press agent's plain to the east
3:20 p-. m. Mountain opposite cov
ered with ice cream. Curious preci
pices of French pastry.
3:30 p. m. Enough granite in
sight to build all the cities of earth
since time bcan, and enough iroken
rock for a n. 'cadamized road to the
Milky Way. From where I stand I
can see half the kingdoms of the
world. It is raining on some of the
kingdoms, and snowing on some, and
on others the sun is shining. Wish
I had a ham sandwich.
3:40 p. m. Can't breathe ache
3:50 p. m. Can't ache.
4:00 p. m. Pike's Peak AND bust!
What is a single life in the cause of
science? Forward Hayfoot straw
foot hayfoot strawfoot hay
straw hay hay hay 'smatter
other foot? I HAD two feet!
4:30 p.m. At last! I have won the
goal. I stand on the very summit of
the mighty mountain. From my lofty
pinnacle, nearly three miles up in the
air, I can see I WONDER what I
can see! Sleepy take nap then
4:40 p. m. "Toot-toot" Why, it's
a locomotive on Pike's Peak! And
a whole mess of people! And they've
ALL discovered this blamed old peak!
Why did I walk it?
5:30 p. m. (On board train, going
down.) My stairway at home is 10
feet high. Next time I feel like climb
ing Pike's Peak I will take a camera,
alpenstock, tobacco, chocolate and
yellow glasses and walk up and down
stairs 750 times in rapid succession.'