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Newspaper Page Text
. JUST FOR CONTRAST
By Berton Braley.
The sleighbells jingle, jingle,
The air with frost a-tingle,
.Ana irom our cozy ingie
We look out on the -snow.
There's Ice up on the river,
The passing people shiver, -The
mercury doth quiver
i At zero or below.
KWe hear the sidewalks creaking,
CThe chill winds moaning, shrieking,
;And gratefully we're seeking
The comfort of the fire.
o keep the furnace maw full
.Makes coal bills simply awful.
It ought to be unlawful
To raise the prices higher!
The water pipes are freezing,
"With fearful colds we're sneezing.
We find the fact displeasing
xnat we must snin ana cougn.
This poem of frost and freezin'
a wholly out of season,
And simply for that reason
May help to cool you off!)
SURE I CAN USE IT ;' j
MA HAS ONE HOOKED
Congratulations to Mrs. William
Draper of Washington, now doing
Paris. For some time Mrs. Draper
has had a daughter, Margaret, who
is possessed of $5,000,000 in her own
right Mrs. Draper carefully scanned
the eligibles of the United States and
Great Britain, but decided there was
none among them fit to husband
Margaret None of them was quite
"nobleman" enough. Those who
were "nobleman" to the desired, ex
tent didn't seem to be attracted to
the point of taking Maggie and her
It is pretty tough to have a $5,
000,000 marriageable daughter with
no titles biting, and so Mrs. Draper
shook the soil of America and Eng
land from her feet, or skirts, and
put the daughter up in Prance. Her
wisdom was justified,-for Compte de
la Toiir D'Auvergne is hooked. It is
a great load off Mrs. Draper's mind.
Comptessing in France is not hard
work and there are still a lot of peo
ple in France who have almost as
much respect for a comptess as they
have for a washwoman. '
Mr. Newlyrich, who had gone out
for a day's shooting, was returning
in the evening with a bag as empty as
when he started, when he saw a man,
apparently a farmer, leaning over a
gate, gazing at some ducks in a pond.
"What will you take for a shot at
those ducks?" asked Newlyrich.
"Will half a dollar satisfy you?"
The country nodded and pocketed
the coin gleefully. Bang- went our
friend'd gun, and immediately after
two of the aucks dropped.
"I think I have made a .good bar
gain," said the man with the gun,
as he packed the bodies of his victims
in his bag.
"So have I," said the countryman,
dryly, "them there. ducks ain't miati
Here coms the farmer!"