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ing the office of state's attorney by
fraud and is conscious of the fact.
He has been exposed by the Tribune
and the hidden details of his fraudu
lent election are now being brought
out by the special grand jury. The
spleen that he is showing now is
merely the venom of exposed guilt"
EVERETT TRUE "COMES BACK!"
Dear old Everett True is with us again! t
You just can't keep him down. He is too full of "pep."
. So he has returned after a resting spell, clear of eye, square of jaw,
wind in fine order, and in the proverbial p. of c.
With him he brings his funny hard, straight-brimmed hat, his huge
black coat, his loud striped trousers, his white spats and artillery feet.
Likewise, "Old Faithful," his hickery-handled umbrella, with which to
stir up the army bf pests who encumber the earth.
Incidentally, as Chief Deputy Foolkiller, Everett added so many notches
to the handle that he has had to replace it with a new and stronger one.
He is starting, as it were, a new volume.
Boobs, look out!
Fourflushers, take warning!
With Everett True getting busy once more, Artist Condo will record
his frequent outbursts with a sympathetic pen. Condo is the boy who can
put it on paper like it happens omitting not the least fervor in the abrupt
uppercut, graphically portraying every play of muscle in Ev.'s stalwart arm,
and the dash and snap with whicli Mr. True buffets the boneh'eads.
Pests, pick out your pallbearers! .
As for the rest of us, let us rejoice! Ev. True has returned.
In fact he was so anxious to return he couldn't wait until tomorrow;
there he is on the next page.
HE'S NOT A "TUTTER."
According to the Newark News
this happened just the other day:
President Wilson raised his niblick
on high. His left toe dug the earth.
His right leg stood like a pillar, while
his left hip became disjointed. He
compressed his lips. His eyes rolled.
Down came the niblick with mighty
swing and two square yards of the
putting green rose into the air and
sailed away toward the horizon al
most intact. "Tut! Tut!" yelled
We'll swallow this description, all
save the "Tut! Tut!" Our worthy
president is no tut-tutter. Those who
have had any close relations with
him, particularly newspaper men,
have been struck by the strength
and polish, not to say impiety, of his
ejaculations. In fact, nice, round cuss
expressions are not wholly unknown
in Woodrow's vocabulary, and, com
ing from a college president, they not
only have an originality and redund
ancy, but an indigenous appropriate
ness that strongly impresses one and
makes the expressor seem more one
Of course, we do not undertake
to say what our president issued
when that niblick swung too low. It
was not an effete and effeminate
,lTut!",It surely was something that
made the two square yards of turf
get -a hurry on.
A yquth returning home from mar
ket by rail traveled in the same com
partment as a neighbor, who, notic
ing that the lad swayed continuously
from side to side, asked him if he
was in pain. "Naw," replied . the
youth; "I've bought a watch, and if I
doant keep gaun like this it'll stop!"