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PLEASE MAN'S STOMACH AND FIRST STEP
TOWARD "HOME SWEET HOME" IS TAKEN
BY JANE WHITAKER
They were sitting in the seat ahead of me in the elevated train and. their
conversation floated back to me, while I listened idly.
"You see, we boarded the first six months after we were married, the
one with the auburn hair was saying, "and, while I suppose I should have
taken up domestic science, it was such fun to go to the matinee, or to lie in
bed and read novels and munch chocolates, that I grew lazy.
"Harold, however, finally got the domestic idea badly. He wanted a
home of his own he was tired of two rooms and no privileges. So 'he hunt
ed a flat.
"We were as ignorant as children. It took us almost a month to find a
place that would suit us, for I insisted on a window seat and a closet in every
room, ana waroia aemanaea a six
foot bath-tub. We finally found the
combination. Then we bought the
"We didn't have very much money,
so I told Harold of a place where
they advertised that they would fur
nish four rooms for $75 on an easy
payment plan, and we went there.
By the time we were through select
ing, fitting one room in Oriental fash
ion as a den for Harold, and buying
bird's-eye maple for the bedrooms,
the bill was simply staggering.
" 'Why, gracious,' I exclaimed,
'how can.it amount to so much? You
advertise to furnish four rooms for
$75, and this is only one room more.'
"The man looked at me with dis
gust. 'When we furnish four rooms
for $75,' he replied, 'the people don't
have to have the, rugs -harmonize
with the paper on the wall and dishes
harmonize with the rugs and the pic
tures harmonize with the dishes.
They take what they get.'
"That was only our first mistake.
I would have told anyone it was a
matter of commoa sense to cook well,
so I cheerfully burned the toast each
morning, made the most terrible cof
fee, let the butcher give me mutton
chops that probably came from an
animal that died of old age, when I
had asked for and paid for lamb
chops, was guilty of murder in boil
ing an egg that had nearly hatched,
and, oh, so many things that Harold,
who1- is no more angelic ' than any
other husband, suggested that he
would patronize a restaurant while I
"I wasn't at all daunted. I bought
a fancy cook book the kind that or
ders you to use twelve eggs in one
cake, and I spent considerable money
making fancy dishes and throwing
"But by Thanksgiving I was quite
confident, so I invited Harold, in a
rather superior manner, to eat his
Thanksgiving dinner at home.
"He assented rather doubtfully.
"My first trouble came when I dis
covered by the cook book that tur
keys had sinews in their legs which
must be pulled out, and I hadn't ask
ed the butcher to do it
"You can imagine the fun I had
getting those sinews out I had to
cut almost all of the meat from the
legs, but I succeeded, and I made a
chestnut filling for the bird also.
"The turkey really was a success
it was beautifully brown, and it
"When it arrived in due course of
time on the table, Harold looked at It
with quite a pleased smile. Then he
barked at me:
" "What happened to its legs? What
did you do was it lame or did you
take the meat off of it out in the
"I patiently delved into the matter
of sinews but no use. Harold is es
pecially fond of the legs and there