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THEN HE MOVED OFF
A loud-voiced gentleman on one of
the stands was boasting to a party
of admiring youngsters about the
doughty deeds he had done on the
baseball field in days gone by.
Suddenly he turned his attention to
the band. "Ah!" he observed, "those
fellows play decently, but they've
fallen off terribly since I was a mem
ber of the band."
"What!" exclaimed one of his hear
ers with a curious expression. "You
played with that lot?"
"Certainly," was the reply. "I was
with them for years."
Then the crowd laughed, and the
boastful gentleman moved off hastily
on learning that the instrumentalists
were the pick of the local lunatic
"Waiter, this coffee is nothing but
thick, liquid mud!" "Yes, sir cer
tainly, sir! It was ground this morning!"
Mrs. Johnson was all excitement;
her husband was a Gordon Highland
er, and she had received an invitation
to visit him in barracks in Scotland.
"You'll soon see daddy now," she
said to her six-year-old little daugh
ter, as the express bore them to their
On arriving at the barracks, Mrs.
Johnson was informed that her hus
band was on sentry duty, and one
of the soldiers pointed him out to
her, but, of course, they could not
The child eyed her daddy with big,
round eyes full 'of wonder, as he
paced up and down the square, rifle
on shoulder, in his regimental Mlt.
"There, that's daddy," cried the
Momentarily the child was too lost
in this amazing spectacle to answer.
But at last it came out
"Mamma," she said in a childish
treble, but with a strictly confidential
air, "if daddy finds the man who stole
his trousers, will he give me that
BAD OUTLOOK FOR THE OTHERS
"I say, Algy, old boy, what are you
going to do with yourself now that
you've come from the 'Varsity?
Something, I suppose? Eh what?"
Algernon replaced his monocle,
flicked a speck of dust from his cuff,
and looked thoughtful.
"Yes," he replied; I ve decided to
His friend gasped.
"Medicine! D'you mean to say
you're going to spend your life chop
ping people up? Horrible horrible!
Besides, it's a very overcrowded pro
fession, and that sort o' thing, don't
'Yes said Algernon; VI know it
is. Still, I've made up my mind. I
shall study medicine; and, as for
those already in the profession well,
they'll have to take their chances,
that's all. After all, their troubles are
no concern of mine. Now, are they?"