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Not by any means the finest res
taurant in the town, the Cafe de Fri
, cassee was not to be despised, how
ever, even for-the seaside. '
'- Old Mr. Wasser had dined there the
-first three evenings of his holiday, but
) there was one point of mystery, one
element of quaintness. Invariably he
. ordered one dozen oysters, and quite
' as invariably the waiter placed before
'him just eleven of these well-known
$biyalvular molluscs eleven and n6
On the fourth evening the same
trouble arose. Mr. Wasser looked
: cloBely at the plate, tested the multi
; plication again and again with his
finest arithmetical acumen, and then
i summoned the waiter by means of
the cracked, unmusical gong beside
;. "Waiter,", he said indulgently, and
yiet withal firmly, "I ordered one
; ',aozen oysters. Now, in my young
; days one dozen comprised precisely
.twelve. Why, then, varlet, dost al
. iivays bring but a paltry eleven?"
The waiter adjusted his serviette
to the required- position on his fore
arm and bowed elegantly. Likewise
Jie went "Ahem!"
"Sir," he said, calmly and evenly,
''none of our patrons care to sit thir
teen at table!" -
FROM BONNIE SCOTLAND
s It happened last AuguBt. Tommy
.Smith, a lad thoroughly Engllgh In
every way, went to spend a part of
5his summer holidays with his cousinB,
r For weeks past he had been look
tag forward eagerly to this trip, but
-when it actually came about the visil
proved aBory disappointment to.
Hiim. At any rate, Tommy took vio
Jgnt exception to the exceedingly
Sprain food provided for him in his
i cousins' house.
For six mornings running his
breakfast consisted of nothing more
interesting than plain oatmeal a
state of affairs intolerable to Tommy,
accustomed as he was to a healthy
repast of eggs and bacon.
Hence, on the seventh morning,
when again he found the same dull,
stodgy fare before him, he turned to
the younger oT,his cousins and plain
"Freddie, don't you ever have milk
with your porridge?"
"Eh, James,'' he said to his elder
brother, "the ladthinks it's Christ-i
By Berton Braley. ,
In days of old when wizards dwelt "
Within a world of fancy,
When imps and gnomes and pixies
In spells of necromancy,
They had Strang phrases full of dread
Which, with the proper cadence said,
Caused wondrous complications.
With queer conniptions, dire and
The magic wordB they muttered,
And thunder rolled at each remark
These old magicians uttered.
We have no witches nowadays,
No wizard dire who chortles,
And yet we have one master phrase
Which plays the deuce with
It brings them joy, it brings thena
It brings them endless trouble,
It makes a Mrs. of a Miss,
Turns single into double.
It brings you peace, it brings you
It lights the skies above you. i
It is the Master Word of life
That little phrase, "I love you!
o o -
Heard at a Restaurant Chatty
Walter (glancing out of window)
The rain'll be here in a minute or
two now, sir. Customer Well, I
didn't order it; I'm waiting for a chop.