Newspaper Page Text
THERE ARE A GOOD MANY EXCEPTIONS
Billie Burke writes that "you cannot think when in pain," and she
tries to .prove it with psychological argument, but she's mistaken, as there
are many exceptions.
We remember one exception. A dear, little but able-bodied woman
went to a dentist with an aching tooth. The dentist, a large, smiling man
with splendid red whiskers, decided, as dentists always do, that the tooth
must come out. The lady thought mind you, she thought while still pos
sessing that fiendish tooth that it might be filled, instead. But the large,
smiling red-whiskered dentist said, "Just a little laughing gas and no pain,"
as dentists always dp.
One minute later, the lady reached up with either hand, seized those
whiskers on either side of the dentist's smile and tore out two generous
handsfull. Meanwhile, she told the painless dentist thoughts about him,
his mother, his past life and present business, in words that left no doubt
but she was thinking deeply although in great pain. The dentist, too, with
hands clasping bloody chops, thought out loud, thus:
"Great guns! I'm the one who should have taken the gas!"
Evidently, his thought was working at the very heights of philosophy,
although pain was making him dance up and down the room.
Then, too, we've met people in whom pain alone could promote
thought - Some people go through to senility without a wrinkle in l&eir
face. Life has been, to such, devoid of necessity to think. No pains, no
necessity to think or do very much. Rheumatism, toothache, corns, boils
and such have their compensations in the promotion of charitable thought
toward others. No man thinks harder or quicker than the father who
raises his rheumatic arm to spank his wayward son, and if the fellow with a
carbuncle where' his rear collar button ought to be isn't thinking, thinking
all the time, then there's no visible evidence of brain-work.
SHE BATTERED A MAN UP FOR
FLIRTING WITH HER
Jersey City, N. J., Aug. 11. "Any
time a masher tries to get fresh with
a girl on the street she should
scratch, kick, bite and use her hat
pin," is the advice of Mrs. Viola
Brophy, who carried her theories
into practice when- Irving Bonder at
tempted to flirt with her. Irving was
given a black eye, el ' split lip, a
smashed nose and a fine of $25. Mrs.
Brophy gave him all but the fine.
She is five feet arifl wejghs 100
GIBBONS AND THE. TANGO
Milwaukee, Aug. 11. When. Car
dinal Gibbons was asked abouf, the
tango, turket trot and other modern
dances, he said:
"I have heard -the tango, turkey
.trot and the bunny hug discussed
and criticized, but not by the wildest
stretch of imagination could I be
termed an expert on modern terpsi
chorean exercises. Knowing nothing
of them by first hand knowledge, I
do not feel capable of judging, either
to denounce or defend them."
MEAT STAFFED TOMATOES
. Scald and peel one dozen tomatoes
of even size. Have them large and
firm so that you can take a good
deal of pulp out of the center. Mnice
one cup of cold ham, chicken, veal
or any cold meat or fish. Dice one
cup of mushrooms and one-half cup
of bread crumbs. Mix these with the
tomato pulp. Season to Caste with
salt and a little paprika. Add one
tablespoon of minced parsley and two
tablespoons of melted butter. Mix all
together and fill tomatoes. Bake
twenty minutes in hot oven.