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Newspaper Page Text
SERVED PHIGGS RIGHT
In a Leeds clothing factory there works a man
named Bill, who is somewhat simple; consequently
his fellow-workers often play tricks on him. Re
cently he turned the tables very neatly on one of
his tormentors named Phiggs.
Bill habitually hung his hat up just over his
bench, and Phiggs, who worked opposite, was very
fond of throwing various missiles at it
One afternoon, in Phiggs' temporary absence,
Bill secured his tormentor's hat and hung it up on
his own nail, and placed his on Phiggs'.
Phiggs returned, and the workman next to him
bet him a cigar- that he could not hit Bill's hat in
"What?" responded Phiggs. m bet I hit it
To his huge delight, and amids,t the uproarous
laughter of his fellow-workmen, he succeeded at the
third attempt in knocking a hole through the crown.
Crossing over to Bill, he said:
"Why don't you laugh, Bill?" . .
"Laugh!" gravely answered BilL "It's you that
ought to laugh; it's your hat!"
. o o
One rainy day, when a boot-shop was full of
customers, a man entered hurriedly, and, speaking
to an assistant who was fitting a lady, said:
"Can you Bhow me some of those boots you ad
vertise? I am in a great hurry."
Excusing himself to the lady, the assistant pro
' ceeded Vo wait upon the newcomer. Pair after pair
of boots was tried on, and finally a perfect fit was
"Now, what make are these boots?" inquired
the man. "They fit me like a glove. Just write
down the make, with the exact width and length."
The salesman did as required, and the man
drew on bis old boots and started for the door.
"Don't you want the boots, sir?" inquired the
"Oh! no," responded the man; "I just wanted
to get my size. I have a friend in the wholesale
business who can get them for me a good deal less
than your price."
o o -
"Oh, doctor, ! feel so discouraged whooping
cough, measles, mumps, and croup, one after the
other, and now my child is ill again!"
"Why, the boy's a genius!"
'Yes infinite capacity for taking pains, yoa