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The menu of a certain West-end restaurant is t,
thing of wonder to strangers. It contains seven 1
pages of various dishes, all , classified, mostly with
weird French names.
The country visitor eyed itup and eyed it down,
but could make nothing of it And the waiter stood
silently by his side.
At last, in despair, the diner dabbed his finger in
the middle of one page, and said:
"Bring me some o that."
"Qui, m'sieu!" replied the waiter.' "That ees
mayonnaise dressing, sar."
"I know that, my man," snorted the countryman.
"I can read!"
"But, m'sieu," said the waiter, apologetically,
"what will you have it on?"
The diner glared.
"On a plate, of course, you idiot!" he roared. "Do
you feed your guests in troughs at this restaurant?"
"Father," inquired the little brain twister" of the
family, "when will our little baby brother be able to
"Oh, when he's abbut three, Mary."
"Why can't he talk now, father?"
"He is only a baby yet, Mary. Babies can't talk."
"Oh. yes, they can, father," insisted Mary, "for
Job could talk when he was a baby."
"Job? What do you mean?"
"Yes," said Mary. "Nurse was telling us today
that it says in the Bible, 'Job cursed the day he was
A bishop was one day addressing a Sunday school,
when he said, in a most impressive way:
"And now, children, let me tell you a very sad
fact In Africa there are ten million square miles of
territory without a single Sunday school where little
boys and 'girls can spend their Sundays. Now, what
shall we all try and save up our money and do.'"
And the class, as one voice, replied, in ecstatic
"Go to Africa!"
"Ah, you don't appreciate a domesticated wife.
You ought to have married one like Mrs. Stoppowt!"
"Ah, yes, now! There s a woman for you can
win enough in a night at bridge, to keep the house go
ing for a months