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EASY COME EASY CO
"Now, Jim,"- said the old lady to
her son, who was about to leave the
country-side to try his luck in New
York, "there's plenty of money in that
big city, for the streets are said to
lbe even paved with gold."
' . Jim had his doubts, but these were
quickly removed, for he had barely
got off of the train when, to his sur
prise, he espied, lying reposing on the
curb, a bright, glittering dollar.
gerly he picked it up and walked a
ttle farther on, when he came across
a. blind man who was begging. At
once his sympathetic heart went out
to the unfortunate man, and as he
put the dollar into. his hand he said:
"Take this, my friend. I can see
'em you can't!"
o o i
"What's the trouble at your
house?" "Hunger strike for a new
bonnet" "Your wife refuses to eat?"
"No; she refuses to cook."
AT ANY PRICE
"Ah, this is peaceful V sighed Mr.
Brown, as he and, his wife sat quietly
over their supper. 'Tve had a very
trying day today."
"Ma," came a plaintive little voice
down the4 stairs, "can I have a
'.'Teddy, Just you go to sleep," said
Mrs. Brown, in adecided tone.
Nothing was heard for a few min
utes, then again:
"Ma, I do want something to
"Now, look here, my son," said
Mrs. Brown, in a final voice, advanc
ing to the bottom of the stairs, "just
you turn over and go to sleep before
there's any trouble, else 111 come and
Teddy grunted and turned over,
"That'll settle him," murmured the
wife. "He's been a perfect terror to
day." Silence again for about five min
utes, and then came a shrill little
"I say, ma, when you come to
spank me, will you bring ma a
Two men were in the museum,
looking at the statue of a Roman
gladiator. One of its arms were
broken off; his left leg ended at the
knee, his helmet was battered, and
there- were several chips from the
face of the warrior. Underneath the
statue was an inscription, "Victory."
"Lord, Bill," said one gentleman. "If
that blokewon the victory what must
have been the state of the bloke.
Father (angrily entering Darlor at
12:30) Look here, young man! Do
you stay as late as thte when vou
call on other girls? Jack rtremhlimr
with fear) N-n-no, sir! Father (ap-
p easea, as ne leaves tne room)
That's all right, then! (Aside)
Thank Heaven! Mary has caught
on at last!