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Newspaper Page Text
THE GRAND OLD DUTCHMAN
By Berton Braley.
The Bush League stars from out the
Show up with nerves aquiver;
Sometimes they.-ainswer to the test,
Sometimes they make a fliwer.-
Hans Wagner sees them when they
marks' their each endeavor.
Bush leaguers come, bush leaguers
go, ' . .
But Hans go on forever.
New baseball marvels hold the stage
And get into the papers;
A year or two they're all the rage
And cut their brilliant capers.
But soon we find they're getting slow,
Their game is not so. clever
And then, they fade away and blow,
But Hans goes on. forever.
Great pitchers try. to strike him out,
But little do they profit ;
He hits the ball the same old clout
And knocks the cover off it.
He likes the fast ones or the slow,
Whatever their endeavor;
So pitchers come and pitchers go,
But Hans goes on forever.
Each year some wondrous hitters
And make their little racket, .
And when they ' whang the ball it
My goodness, how they whack it!
But when the season's standings
We find old Hans' endeavor ,
Still proves that hitters come arid go,
While Hans goes on forever.
The seasons make no dent in him;
His throwing arm is limber;
Somehow he's always right in trim;
He's like some sound old timber.
In fact, it surely seems as though
Old Time would get him never,
For fans and players come and go,
But Hans goes on forever!
SEN. REED AND THE WHITE
HERON HE FAVORS KILLING
Washington, Aug. 18. Senator
Reed of Missouri puts the kibosh on.
sentiment regarding the white heron,
from whose head is pulled the aig
rette that adorns ladies' hats.
These aigrettes are torn out of the
head of the bird only at the season
when it has just hatched its young,
and as the process kills the mother
bird, of course the little birds -have
a good chance to starve. Listen to
"The bird Is the most ungainly
combination of lank, long legs, angu-
lar bones, long beak and homely ap
pearance that every inspired sen
"It cannot serve, an aesthetic pur
pose until its aigrette is used as a
decoration. I could paint you a far
more heart-stirring' picture of the
wrongs of the" trustful domestic calf,
looking up and licking your hand
until bludgeoned to death to be eaten
in cannibal fashion by man."
However, nobody wears a calf for
purely ornamental purposes, and its
young don't starve to death after it
CONCERNING THE WHITE RATS
The following sad communication,'
written on letter paper with a neat
black border, was received ihis
Hatred to the memory of the
White Rats Actors' Union Clubroom
of Chicago, which departed Jhis life
afflicted with centralized tyranical
Members individually exercised
Local Autonomy by Absent Treat
ment; death was-due to dry rot.
The White Rats is the actors'
brotherhood. Apparently the Chi
cago organization has been having a
little internal trouble. The club
rooms are or used to be at 30 .
North Fifth avenue.