Newspaper Page Text
PITY THE EDITOR
"What's the-matter?" inquired the
foreman as he entered the sanctum
.for cony and noted the editor's swol
len ioreneaa, putted red eye and tat
-terea, austy coat. "Did you fall
"No only that," replied the edi
tor, pointing with his finger to a para
graph in the paper before him. "It's
in our account of the Crapeley-Smith
wedding. It ought to read: 'Miss
Smith's dimpled, shining facj formed
a pleasine contrast to Mr. CraDlev's
'strong, bold physiognomy.' But see
how it was printed."
And the foreman read: "Miss
Smith's pimpled,, skinny face formed
a pleasing contrast to Mr. Cranlev's
strange, bald physiognomy." ,
"Crapley was just in here." con
tinued the editor, throwing one
blood-streaked handkerchief Into
the waste-paner basket, and feeliner
in his pockets for a clean one, "and
ne Dut just send the proof-reader
man here! There's fieht in me vet!"
GIVE M A
f ' ' ( RAW. f
J " lSS 0YSTE(?sv
HAP HER OWN WAY
It was a sunny day, and the florist's
window, full of gaily-decked flowers,
looked unusually seductive.
Soon there entered a lady of at
tractive appearance, but with a cer
tain firmness of expression, indica
tive of a disposition to have' her own
She selected a brilliuat looking
plant in a Japanese-flower-pot, and,
having ascertained the price, and an
nounced that she would take it, in
quired if it would do well in the sun.
"Certainly, miss," said the florist's
assistant, a meek young man, who
quailed beneath her glance.
"Don't say it will If it won't," she
remarked, sharply. "Now, if it grows
well in the sun, will the shade hurt
"Not in the least, mum," responded
"Ah," she said, with a tightening
of the lips; "here is a plant that Is
declared to do equally well In shade
or sun, which, to say the least, Is
neither natural nor probable Per
haps you will call somebody who Is
more of an authority on botany than
The young man gasped, and retired.
to call his employer, an elderly 'gen
tleman, of sauve manners.
"Your assistant, said the lady, ad
dressing him, "informs me that this
"plant does equally well in shade or
"Well, madam, I think he is right."
"Really, a most accommodating
plant," said the lady, scornfully. "My
good sir, it isn't natural."
'Precisely, madam. You see,. It's
an artificial plant."
Take back your heart," the maiden
And threw it at the givep,
For I have found it is impure."
The man began to shiver.
Indeed, the butcher, too, felt sore.
He knew the maid he'd meat so