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Newspaper Page Text
"It is 'plane' that I love you,"iie be
"Is that on the 'level?' " she asked.
"Haven't 1 always been on the
'square" with you?" he urged.
"But you have many 'vices,' " she
"Not a 'bit of it," he asserted.
. "What made you 'brace' up?" she
fr "The fact that I 'saw' you," he re
plied, wath a bow.
w "I ought to 'hammer' you for that,"
she answered, saucily.
3 "Come and sit by me on the
'bench,' he urged.
"Suppose the others should 'file'
in?" she murmured.
"You shouldn't let your arms-'compass'
me," she continued.
"I know a preacher who Isa good
'joiner,' " he suggested.
"Promise not to 'chisel' him out of
his fee," she requested.
That wouldn t auger well for
us?" he answered as they rusheLpff
for the license! ,
. ANOTHERBID CALLED
Hot and stuffywas the auction-,
room, and packed, too yea, even
packed to its utmost capacity.
Suddenly throughthe crowd press
ed a large, important-looking person
age, and held conversevwith the auc
tioneer converse low, deep, and'
Then up spake the auctioneer to
the multitude assembled:
"Gentlemen," he said, '1 am in
formed that a pocket-book has been,
lost in this hall tonight containing
two hundred dollars in bank notes'
A great hush fell upon the assem
bly. "Yes," continued the custodian of
the hammer; "and, owing to other
valuable documents it contains,' the
gentleman will offer fifty dollars to
anyone who returns it, whilst no
questions will be asked."
Again a Bilence, deep and un
broken. Then a quaint little fellow at the
rear of the hall spoke up;
"I bid fifty-one dollars!" he-said.
"I have been grossly insulted!" he
exclaimed, rushing into the office of
his solicitor for the seventh time in
"In what way? asked the solicitor, .
"My next-door neighbor has de
clared he will pull my nose next time
he meets me. What shall I do about
"Well," said the lawyer, as if he
had given the case due deliberation,
"I should soap it, then it win slip
through his fingers. Good day! My
bill will follow in due course."
Even royalty has its cares. There's
a Viennese launareBs auer jmnce
SulkowsW right in the midst of his
honeymoon with that Los Angelas