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Newspaper Page Text
APOUF. I AM HOLOIKQ OYR YOUR, TZ?. vcrT'rr? DINK HARD, VOT 1 IT f MISUNDERSTOOD A Frenchman, arrived in England and began the. struggle with the lan guage. One day he came with his conversation book to an English friend. "Ze Polar bear vat does he do?" "What's that?" said the puzzled friend. "Ze Polar bear vat does he do?" "Ohr he don't do a single thing but sit on the ice and eat fish." "Non, non! I not accep'." "Why's that?" "I been Invite to be Polar bear at a funeral." o o "Now, my friends," said the can didate, making another effort to arouse enthusiasm in his hearers, "what do we need in order to carry this constituency by the biggest ma jority In its history?" The response was immediate and enthusiastic "Another candidate!" yelled the audience as one man. DIDN'T BUY BOOKS' The agent for a handsomely-Illus-trated book to be sold on the credit system a feast to the intellect and an ornament to any library leant against the side of the house, caught his breath, clenched his fist, and look" ed skywards. 'What's the matter?" asked the policeman. "I've met the meanest man," be answered. "I've beard of him, and I've read about him In the papers, but I never expected to meet him face to face." "How do you know he was the? meanest man?" "By the way he acted. I showed him this work of art, lectured ou it for half an hour, showed the engrav ings, and when I hinted that It would, be a good thing to order, what dor. you think he said?" "i don't know." "He said he never bought books. He didn't have to. He Just waited for some idiot of an agent to come along and tell him all that was in 'em, and turn over the leaves while he looked at the pictures." PA FLED, TOO "I say, pa." "Well?" "I thought you said if a boy would always mind his parents he wouldn't get into trouble. Tes, my boy, I did say bo, and I hope you will always bear it in mind. Give heed to what your parents tell you to do, and what they tell you not to do, and you will live to be a good man. Never disobey your parents. and harm cannot reach you. The boy who always does as his father tells him need never fear that evil will overtake him, and " "But, pa, here's a poem about a boy that stood on a burnin' deck be cause his pa told him not to go. Just read it, and then tell me some more about harm never comin' to boys that always do what their parents say they have to," 1