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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 21, 1913, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1913-08-21/ed-1/seq-17/

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APOUF. I AM HOLOIKQ OYR YOUR,
TZ?. vcrT'rr? DINK HARD,
VOT 1 IT f
MISUNDERSTOOD
A Frenchman, arrived in England
and began the. struggle with the lan
guage. One day he came with his
conversation book to an English
friend.
"Ze Polar bear vat does he do?"
"What's that?" said the puzzled
friend.
"Ze Polar bear vat does he do?"
"Ohr he don't do a single thing but
sit on the ice and eat fish."
"Non, non! I not accep'."
"Why's that?"
"I been Invite to be Polar bear at
a funeral."
o o
"Now, my friends," said the can
didate, making another effort to
arouse enthusiasm in his hearers,
"what do we need in order to carry
this constituency by the biggest ma
jority In its history?" The response
was immediate and enthusiastic
"Another candidate!" yelled the
audience as one man.
DIDN'T BUY BOOKS'
The agent for a handsomely-Illus-trated
book to be sold on the credit
system a feast to the intellect and
an ornament to any library leant
against the side of the house, caught
his breath, clenched his fist, and look"
ed skywards.
'What's the matter?" asked the
policeman.
"I've met the meanest man," be
answered. "I've beard of him, and
I've read about him In the papers,
but I never expected to meet him
face to face."
"How do you know he was the?
meanest man?"
"By the way he acted. I showed
him this work of art, lectured ou it
for half an hour, showed the engrav
ings, and when I hinted that It would,
be a good thing to order, what dor.
you think he said?"
"i don't know."
"He said he never bought books.
He didn't have to. He Just waited for
some idiot of an agent to come along
and tell him all that was in 'em, and
turn over the leaves while he looked
at the pictures."
PA FLED, TOO
"I say, pa."
"Well?"
"I thought you said if a boy would
always mind his parents he wouldn't
get into trouble.
Tes, my boy, I did say bo, and I
hope you will always bear it in mind.
Give heed to what your parents tell
you to do, and what they tell you not
to do, and you will live to be a good
man. Never disobey your parents.
and harm cannot reach you. The
boy who always does as his father
tells him need never fear that evil
will overtake him, and "
"But, pa, here's a poem about a
boy that stood on a burnin' deck be
cause his pa told him not to go. Just
read it, and then tell me some more
about harm never comin' to boys that
always do what their parents say
they have to,"
1

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