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Newspaper Page Text
ear out of the pillow, knowing I'd
keep the door open!
"And I took my cue!
" 'Louie Jawlowski,' I says, 'a man
that doesn't get what's ' coming to
him is born lucky. You wasn't. How
dared you ask a dear, sweet girl like
Rubie to take you for worse? Sure,
she done it, because well, because
she's stuck on you for fair. Suppose
she don't know how to cook? Do
YOU know how to work? Nix! Take
it from me, you'd better make up be
fore Jt is too late. Them family bust
ups will happen now and then. What
if Rubie seen my lawyer and flew the
coop, being peeved? How would you
like that? Say, Louie, get a move
on while she thinks you're good look
ing!' "With that I lit out. A third party
is in the way when two is getting
"Only now, that it's over, I'll say
this the best of girls will marry
when they get the chance. Well,
then,- why don't the schools learn 'em
how to make the best of it cooking
an' sewing an,! like that something
that's good for keeps?"
DIDN'T HURT HIM
"When I went in the house last
night I fell against the piano!"
"Did it hurt you?"
"No! I fell on the soft pedal!"
I was halted by a diminutive office
lad one day when I essayed to gain
admittance to the manager of an im
portant business institution, old chap.
The little fellow, who seemed to have
a keen appreciation of the gravity of
his duties, detained me with these
"You wants to see the Big Crowd,
eh? You're crazy to chin with the
Main Mast, the Chief Cook, the Top
Card, the Royal Grouch. Well, just
slip me your moniker pasteboard and
in five wags of a goat's tail IH put
you Jo whether you can put
the finger on him and cuddle up like
an old college chum or get tossed
outa here on your sconce."
All of a sudden Schneider's dog,
With pain, began to howl.
He'd bolted down what he thought
But 'twas a Turkish towel.