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Newspaper Page Text
HELP! SOCIETY FEELINGS ARE HURT
We're shacked, and we feel grossly snubbed. Here we've been sending
our higtiest privileged classes to uy castles in Scotland and Cork and send
ing our richest and beautifulest society buds to marry British titles and the
bankrupt things thereto attached, and now British royal society is over
looking us, and it is just too horribly bad !
The Earl of Derby and Duke of Richmond have recently given house
parties to the King and studiously avoided putting one solitary American
name on the list of guests. It is very noticeable and, moreover, it is said, in
our best society circles, that it really means dethroning us American society
folks from the prominence we gained under King Edward, when some of the
bluest blood in England had to take secondary place, because that monarch
was enamored of our lovely and wealthy daughters and what they had on,
or hadn't on.
It's just too mean of that old Derby earl, and, as to Richmond, we
just don't care, we're going to tell something about his blue-bloodedness.
The first Duke of Richmond was just plain Charlie Lennox, sired by
Charles II., dam Louise Renee de Ouerouailles. Old Louis XTV. of France,
himself quite a connoisseur in Louises, wanted to please King Charles and
the Stuart family generally, and the dear cunning old fox knew that noth
ing would charm a Stuart stronger than a Louise. So, he sent to Charles
Miss Louise R. de Ouerouailles. You couldn't expect a king to father a
plain Cburlie Lennox all through life, and so King Charles whittled out the
dukedom of Richmond for the child. Sb there! We just don't propose to
sit quiet and be crowded out of society by, of and for stuck-up descendants,
of those old-time illegitimates!
THE PENSIONINGOFTOM AND JERRY
Tom and Jerry are two old plugs. For 24 years, faithfully, through
rain and shine, with never a kick and rarely a quiver, they have pulled to
and fro, along Delancy street, New York's sole surviving horse car.
Recently the juice of the dynamo has taken their place, bringing with
it the question what to do with the plugs.
Vere they younger the answer would have been easy. In Canada's far
northwest, in fertile Saskatchewan, there's quite an industry in converting
the bony derelicts from Eastern car barns, by six months of fat pasturing,
into plump and frisky draught horses.
But Tom and Jerry were beyond pastoral redemption. The only
alternative to a pension in the country would have been pistol shots and
In this emergency, the property owners along Delancy street did what
we think is among the most gracious acts in Gotham's checkered history.
They voted a fund and named a commission to take the two faithful old
crowbaits to a snug stable up state, where they can eat and sleep in peace
and quiet until the end.
How "humane are you to the dumb beasts in your employ? Do you
kick them and curse them and starve them when something roils your
liver? Do you let the children torment the cat? In brief, is it the rule of
your.home that the poor critters, that can't take care of themselves are to
be mistreated by any who may have the power, or are you kindly, consider
ate and merciful?
Must be some good in "li'l ol' N'Yark" to do a thing like that!