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Newspaper Page Text
5SR5I5 I f V-a"-f rB. ONLY A DAUGHTER "Young man," said the fond father, "in giving you my daughter, I have entrusted you with the dearest treas ure of my life." The young man was duly impress ed, and made no endeavor to conceal his emotion and his gratitude. Then, during the few moments of impres sive silence that followed, he heard the patter, patter or rain against the window. ' "Goodness me," he exclaimed, "it's raining, and I haven't my umbrella! May I borrow yours, sir, to keep me dry while I run-to the station?" "Young man," said the fond par ent, "I would not trust anyone with my umbrella!" oo "That's a fine-looking old gentle man! BleMer'si father, isn't' it?" asked a collegian' of a friend. "Yes," was the answer; "but he is a cham pion at breaking his word!" "You don't say so?" "Yes he stutters!" J -POT IT IN Usir A COTTON- ) !" "" "ip?- r Si-Xtsvfe UW' '? &--" m f M - -nc S "'yiixt& ' -e I SJ" jJi )m is -a-? "too roT P HARDWARE SELL IT. SOMEBODY SAVED The second act had come to an end. The curtain had fallen; and after a long tumult of applause the audience were gradually relapsing into silence. Suddenly those near the stage be came conscious of a stir and hurry ing behind the scenes. A faint smell began to pervade the atmosphere, then smoke came from the wings. In an instant the same thought struck everyone, and the same word, hoarsely whispered, left every lip: "Fire!" A stampede seemed imminent. Then from a box rose the hero of the hour a man with a calm, deter mined face. "Keep your seats!" he shouted. His words and manner reassured the terror-stricken people in the tneater. Shamefacedly, they sank back one by one into their seats. Slowly, as if, about to speak, the man strode to where there was now an open avenue of exit. Then, with out a moment's hesitation, he rushed for the door. Once safe outside he mopped his forehead and murmured breathlessly: "Weir, someone's saved, anyway!", o o NOTHING DOING The tourist was strolling along by the side of the brook when he came across a very dejected-looking coun tryman sitting on the bank. "Caught any fish today?" he asked. "No, sir," replied the man, glumly. "The fishing must be pretty, poor." "I expect it is." 'You haven't caught any fish at all?" "Not one." "That seems strange," remarked, the tourist. - .v "It does," replied the man, sadly. 'Can you think of any reason why you haven't caught any fish?" inquir edthe inquisitor. "Well," replied the other, "the only reason I can think of is that I haven't .been fishing today."